I Stand All Amazed

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me... Oh it is wonderful that he should care for me, enough to die for me. Oh it is wonderful. Wonderful to me.

Tuesday night I became very sick. I thought it was just the new medication the doctors put me on, regardless, I kept getting sicker and was violently sick, when I went down. I don't really remember the details. I ended up at one urgent care with an extremely long wait and decided to go to a different one. Once there, I saw a doctor that was amazing. He told me about a GYN doctor that specializes in nothing besides diagnosing and fixing GYN diseases and problems. He said the only problem was it was a six month wait to get in to him. I cried. I did. He called that doctor (his brother) on the phone right there in the office and asked me all kinds of questions. I had an appointment that next morning.

Yesterday, as I called the office to see what time to come in, they laughed at me and I asked them to go get Dr. Brooks. Sure enough, he told me to come in. Within 2 hours of being in his office, he had preformed all types of tests, ultrasounds, exams, etc. He gently told me that the good news was he found out what was wrong. He figured out what this "mass" was in my right side that everyone else was only guessing at. Unfortunately, he said that the only way to fix it is with surgery.

I was told that I qualify for a robotic surgery that is being done exclusively at St. Joe's hospital. The team that does this new surgery has a six to twelve month waiting list. I am being told they will see me next week.

I am NOT excited about the thought of another surgery, but felt so "at peace" when the Dr. explained what was wrong and all the associated symptoms of ALL my problems that this was creating. I felt understood. I felt like although the pain was so bad that this could really change things for me. He even has down the timing of when this would have occurred, a year ago in April during my hysterectomy repair.

It has been a long road. I have felt so tired, hurt and some days unable to keep going. The good news is now, it sounds like the doctors are going to be able to fix this and I will be able to put this year behind me and move on.

I received a couple of amazing priesthood blessings this week. Through those, my burdens have been lightened, my testimony strengthened and my understanding of the Savior's will is more clear than it has been. I DO know that all of these things shall give me experience and shall be for my own good. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and for a loving, kind and gracious older brother that when my load just gets too heavy to carry that he carries me and my load. I have felt his gentle arms around me this week. I have felt him lift the burden that I could no longer bear. I have felt his strength and love. I have seen him move mountains in order for me to get the help that I need.