Scout campout

As Hayden was headed out to scout camp, he had to give his last bit of love to Max. Not his momma. Not his dad. But his BFF Max.

Had Max realized what was happening, he would have stowed away in Hayden's backpack. 

However, not understanding, he soaked in Hayden's love and loved that Hayden showered him with love and treats. 

Hayden wasn't a fan of the scout trip. 

He slept alone in a tent. Not with the other boys. About 7pm, after dinner, and sitting around the camp fire, Hayden told them he was tired and headed in for the night to his tent. He said he laid there just praying. Praying for sleep. Praying for comfort. Praying the night would go by quickly so he could come home. He said it was the longest night of his life. 

My heart breaks for him. I picture him alone in a tent. No friends. No family around. All alone. 

I'm so far away. What am I to do? I can't go with him. He has to learn to do things on his own away from the comfort and safety of our home. He has to learn to stand on his own two feet. My desire is to scoop him in my arms and tell him he never has to leave. 

However, each time my desire to hold him back comes, I remember a conference talk. A mission president was asked how to better prepare missionaries. He replied that they need significant away from home experiences. 

That hit me so hard. 

I can't keep him young forever. I can't keep him confined to the safety and security of our home forever. 

My job is to prepare him for the world. Prepare him to stand on his own two feet. Prepare him to lean on his Father in Heaven and Savior. To rely on the Holy Ghost for comfort. To trust the Savior. To know he will always have a safe place to fall at home. 

That me and Thomas and Max will welcome him home with open arms and wagging tails when he comes home. 

If the camp out is any correlation to life, I imagine my Father in Heaven letting me come to earth. Afraid. Scared. Alone. Not sure what to do. Somedays praying to be wrapped in my Father in Heaven's arms. To not have to camp out alone. But I also imagine when I go home again that my Father in Heaven and Savior will welcome me home with open arms. 

Hardest thing as a parent ..... Letting go. 

I'm learning. Not to worry so much about how hard it is to let him go but to make sure that I welcome him with open arms back home. That he knows he always has a safe place to fall. That he will always be loved and welcomed and wanted at home. Safety. Security. All things he needs. An open door. Filled with love and safety and protection and unconditional love.