Sacred Temple Experience

What a beautiful and long awaited day I was blessed with yesterday. Julie made the decision to go thru the temple and make sacred covenants with our Savior. My heart cannot express the joy that has overcome me for the peace and understanding that her choice has brought her. She has spent a lot of time coming to this decision. My heart is so happy for her.

With the way I have been feeling, I was trying to figure out a way possible be there for her on this sacred and special day. My heart desired to support her, be with her and let her know how much I care. However, when the spirit is willing, sometimes the body is weak, and endurance is just not possible.

Jodi picked me up and went with me to meet Thomas at the temple. Thomas and I were going to participate in sealings and meet up with Julie at the end. As the day went on, my prayers and pleading with my Father in Heaven, became more fervent. I really wanted to experience this with her.

As I walked into the temple, I pleaded with the Father for added strength to be able to go thru a session. I said a silent prayer and asked that I be able to have the strength to walk thru the next couple of hours.

Peace came over me and I decided to have the faith to walk thru the session. As I walked in, ward members were all shocked to see me. Honestly, I do not have the strength to sit thru three hours of church, much less handle a session in the temple. But my faith was strong.

As I sat next to Jodi, I about had a panic attack. What was I doing? My strength was gone and I had only rode the elevator up one floor. I took a couple of deep breaths and prayed or pleaded for strength. I prayed for the Savior to take over and make up for my lack of strength.

Half way thru, I was in big trouble. I was white as a ghost and had no strength to move. I struggled just to not pass out. I spent the entire time pleading for help. So many tender mercies occurred while I was in that session. When things became rather dire, I let my head drop and put it in the Lord's hand. I knew I was passing out. I know the symptoms. I have never gone that far into the process without going out.

As I lifted my head, Jodi looked at me and told me that I looked like a different person. My Savior let me walk until just before my strength completely gave out and then He stepped in.

I trusted him and he didn't disappoint me. He did just as I expected and had asked. He knew how important this event was for Julie. He knew how important it was for her for me to be there. He wanted to make the day perfect and special for her. He wanted her to know that he knows her, he is aware of her, he knows the true desires of her heart, he walks with her and he has the power to do the impossible.

Once again, he taught me.

I learned so much in those moments. I was required to walk in faith and into the darkness before I was strengthened. The Lord pushes me farther and I must walk longer in faith than I have before. However, he always comes. The darkness always turns to light and he comes.

I will never forget walking in and seeing Julie. Hugging her in the temple was a beautiful experience. I want so deeply for her to be happy. I want her to experience all the love and joy and peace and happiness that The Lord has to offer.

The Lord has promised us that all he has is ours if we will just come unto him.

I have tasted the sweet peace and joy of following the Savior. It is desirous beyond any other joy that life has to offer. When I saw Julie, her face was glowing. She was filled with peace and the happiness that only comes from the Savior.

I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to spend those precious moments in the temple. The sweet moments spent with my friends and family that I love dearly, was so uplifting. Seeing Julie there touched my heart. Being strengthened by the Savior and having my prayers and deepest desires of my heart answered again, absolutely priceless.

My heart is so full! My Savior knows me and has again answered my prayers. He loves me enough to fulfill the deepest desires of my heart. And although I cannot do much, when the stakes are high and the deepest desires of my heart need to be met, my Savior strengthens me to do what is needed. He takes over when the frailties of my body are too weak to do what is wanted and needed. I am so grateful to him. He loves me, he knows me and I am his.

Fire fighters

Hayden and his two buddies, Jackson and Gunter were jumping on the trampoline yesterday after school. They came running in yelling that they could see smoke and smelled fire in the wash. Luckily, Grandma Julie was over and headed out down the wash to explore the smell.

Of course the boys were not happy to stay back with me while Grandma searched for the fire. They convinced me to walk down the wash to let the find clues. Ok. Picture me is sweats and oversized t-shirt with slippers. Freezing cold. The boys started running down the trail and then were going to hike down into the wash. Hayden handed me a huge stick for a cane and held on to me while helping me down.

The bottom of the wash was all sandy. I was struggling to walk. (*note: I have not been out of the house in months except to the doctor. A walk to the bathroom causes me to struggle for breath.)

Sweet Hayden stayed back with me while his friends ran ahead. He was so tender as he held onto me and helped me take each step. It was such a tender moment.

Anyways, someone had put a chair in the wash, soaked in gasoline, and set it on fire. Luckily, not only did the boys see the smoke, but so did a couple of other kids who got their parents.

Grandma Julie and the other dads put out the fire. The boys loved standing back and helping to put out the remainder of the fire once it was almost out. They had all types of theories and they all stood their pretending they were Shawn and Gus on Psych. Too funny!

After the excitement we headed back up the wash and home. My heart monitor was going crazy by the time I got home. Too funny! I collapsed on the couch and listened to the boys with all their theories and excitement and adrenaline. They were so happy!

Even though I was exhausted, it felt so good to feel like me again. Me, the mom that loved going on Hayden's adventures. Me, the mom that would follow Hayden to the moon and back. Me, the mom that could care a less about how things effect me but only care about the happiness of my son. I felt like me. Exhausted, struggling to breathe, worn out but happy happy me.

I love my son! I love him with all of my heart! I would walk to the ends of the earth and back for him! He is all of my dreams come true! I wanted to be a mom from the time I could walk and talk. The day Hayden was born, he fulfilled that dream. Every day since has brought more and more and more joy! Hayden, thanks for all of the love and joy you have brought to my life. Never forget how very much I love you!!!