If there is one question that I hate answering it is, "How many kids do you have?" Fine. It is the follow up question that I always struggle with. "Oh, so you don't really like kids or do you want to have more?". And, how I answer depends on my mood or who asks. But, there are some days I don't want to answer. I don't feel the need to explain myself. I think I have been rather annoyed this week, so it is frustrating me more. And, once it started bothering me, I started counting how many times I am asked that question. In the last week, I have been asked that question 17 times. Yes, count them 17. I was shocked that I had even talked to that many people that wouldn't already know the answer as to why.
I have responded in all these ways... We tried having more and weren't successful. Told another that I had had over a dozen miscarraiges and many failed adoptions. When an old boyfriend replied, "Wow, I thought you would have a house full. I said, I do have a house full, but technically only one belongs to me." And, even replied, Oh, Hayden brought me so much joy that we couldn't bare to have any attention go to another. I hate the pity. I just don't know how to say, I am perfectly content with how the Lord saw my life and have completely accepted his path for me. Sure I struggled and longed for more, but I am at peace now. It is always awkard though, because people always say sorry.
I wish I could think of a clever response that would not make people pity me and not think I am selfish for having only one child. Such is life, I just can't believe that people you hardly know would ask such prying questions. My pet peeve of the day.
Thomas, Jerlyn & Hayden Murphy
4 comments:
I cannot believe 17 people would ask you that in one week! Yes, people are funny. I ran into a friend from high school this week; he married his high school sweetheart. So of course as natural conversation goes I asked him how many kids they have. Reply... None. It took me by surprise but I just moved on to another subject. I'm surprised people are so candid prying into someone's life. I can see why that is a pet peeve. I think you should reply with "zero population is the answer my friend" :) Cause who doesn't love Saturday's Warrior!!
17? That's insane. What if when they ask "How many kids do you have?" You say, "Why?" That would startle them into shutting up. Or, what if when they say "How many kids do you have?" You say, "One, and by the way, how often do you and your husband have sex?" That for sure should shut them up!
Love both of those responses! Try those!
You're an amazing woman. You have been a wonderful, caring, loving mother to so many!
People are just dumb. I can't count how many times I have been asked, "Are they ALL yours?!" Followed by a look of pity or disgust. UGH!
People are just dumb sometimes. Just remember that! People ask me all the time when we're having a girl. ummm....let's see...... since I don't have a crystal ball, I'll have to get back to you on that. Geez people. Leave it alone! (besides...unless it's family or close friends, it's none of their business right)?!
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