Blessings beyond measure

This last several weeks have been a real struggle for me. As I fought my way through the internal bleeding, there were moments when I felt I was slipping from this world. I was doing all I could to hang on but the overwhelming battle to fight for a breath and then the excruciating pain that would follow that breath was really taking a toll on me and my body. After hours and hours had passed, a picture came to my mind, one of my Savior kneeling in the Garden of Gethsemane. Here I was with some internally bleeding, sure it was intense and hurting but it in no way compared to that of my Savior and what he dealt with when he took upon himself all of our sins. As I watched that moment play out in my mind, I noticed something that I had thought of before but hadn't given as much time to....

My Savior, while in Gethsemane, suffered all of our pains. Not just my sins, not just my heartaches or moments when others hurt me, but he also had lived this moment of pain for me. He had suffered my pain of bleeding, so when I felt I could no longer hold on, I knew the Lord had gone before me and had already suffered this for me. My tears of pain changed to tears of gratitude. Some how in that moment, the pain seemed to ease as I felt my Savior reach inside and take some of the pain from me.

The Savior took my pain away, not all of it, but enough that I was able to bear the rest. I am grateful for those precious moments. In my weakness and hurting, my Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer and my friend eased my burden so it wouldn't hurt so bad. He made it into a burden that I could carry and cope with.

As I have endured these last couple of weeks, I have seen over and over again the ways the Savior has taken my burden, my pain and found ways to send tender mercies my way to help me stay strong and endure what was being asked of me. Gratitude? More than I can even express.