Detention

As if I wasn't dealing with enough in life the day before Jodi moved, I received a call from a hysterical Hayden when Suzi picked him up from school. All the worst ran them my head. Car wreck. Hurt. Who knows? As I said to calm down, with tears uncontrollably streaming down his face and a trembling in his voice, I heard him mutter, "detention". I said what? He said, "mom, I got detention and I don't even know what I did wrong?"  

I was so confused. This is my boy. The one who has never even had his name on the board. Never a card turned. Never a reprimand at school. What happened? 

He said the recess aide asked him if a jacket laying on the ground was his, he said no, I left mine at home and giggled cause I felt weird. The aide told. Mr. Dillion I said it rudely. But I didn't mom. I tried to talk to Mr.Dillon but he got mad and said I talked back and was snarky. The tears again started even harder as he said, "and he got really mad when I asked him what snarky meant."  He continued, with he didn't understand what he did wrong. 

As the story unfolded more, tears began streaming down his face. Ms. T stopped him and he relayed the events again saying he didn't understand. She sent him to sit down and told him to report to detention and deal with it. 

Of course, being in sixth grade, it is not okay to cry. The teasing started. The teachers did nothing. 

A speech substitute pulled him out of class for his therapy. She tried to talk to him but didn't know what to do. 

What everyone missed was Hayden has never been in trouble so therefore didn't know how to handle it at school. To him, detention might as well be a prison sentence. Detention = horribly bad act. He was devastated. No one explained what was wrong or what he should have done. 

Even more so, it specifically says in his IEP that if he cries or is upset, send him to the office so it limits bullying. Also, that if he gets in trouble, instead of yelling or anger, he needs to be explained what he did wrong, the situation, how he should have handled it, etc. AND I am to be called so we can reinforce and explain at home. 

No one followed procedures. First. The aide reacted unfairly saying that she wasn't directly talking to. Hayden but in general and he shouldn't have said anything. However, Hayden has not idea if it was directed at him or not. He genuinely thought it was aimed at him. Not being a smart alec but genuinely thought he was spoken to. Then, his teacher for over six months didn't take. Hayden's past track record into account nor the IEP but just reacted. Then his teacher, who should have been tolerant and sympathetic, she had. Hayden all last year, should have tried to comfort, understand, send him to the office, anything besides add the humiliation of tears and bullying to the list of injustices. Then the poor speech substitute tried to comfort but I wish would have at least talked to the principal or someone. He was sobbing. 

I called the principal. She said, "Hayden??? He has never been in trouble. He is the most respectful and obedient boy in the school. I'll get to the bottom of it."  

Instead of returning my call, I received an email from the teacher. Telling me I was a helicopter patent and couldn't handle that my son could get in trouble. I lost it. I sent an email of all emails to him, his home room teacher and the principal. 

I explained that this was Hayden's third run in with this aide. 1) Hayden was body slammed to the ground by an 8th grader. He told the aide and she told Hayden to stay away from them. Did nothing to the other child. 2) A bunch of seventh and sixth grade boys all took balls at recess and one said, "watch this" and they each chucked balls at Hayden and laughed that he couldn't catch them. Again. The aide told. Hayden to avoid them and did nothing to these boys. 3) so when this aide spoke to Hayden, he was obviously scared, nervous and stressed. 

And, almost every student in Hayden's class went to the teacher and said that Hayden didn't do anything wrong. The aide was at fault. Not Hayden. 

I am not saying that Hayden does everything right. I think it was handled wrong. I was upset that he still doesn't understand what happened and what he did or what he should have done. 

Needless to say,  Hayden is not looking forward to going back to school. He is stressed. He doesn't feel safe. He is fearful. It breaks my heart. 

I wish I had th energy and stamina to home school him. I wish I knew if it would be best. I hate sending him to a place where he is fearful. Where he is bullied. Where his self esteem struggles. 

I love my boy with all my heart and this is killing me.