I sat on her bed. Not a lot of help. My biggest contribution was sorting and matching socks while lying on the bed. Talmage helped. He put them in baskets and in the trash. He lifted.
As I sat on her bed, memories flooded thru my mind. All of the moments of the past 9 years rushed my mind. From the day I helped unpack her kitchen, to holding Brigham for the first time, canning chicken, family parties, birthday parties, dropping off Hayden while I went to work, cleaning her house before she brought Talmage home, cuddling with her babies, sitting on the couch with all the kids and our many many many hours of chatting and just being together.
I was so grateful for the years we were blessed to be so close.
So close that from a phone call with her telling me Brooklyn needed stitches and us needing Brigham, we were there in less than 4 minutes.
So close that she would check on me every day. Bring me diet cokes. Take me to thousands of doctors appointments. Drop by...just because. Drop off kids on a moments notice. Stop by for a hug. Be there physically to comfort one another they failed adoptions, miscarriages, heartaches, sicknesses, and just bad days. There to celebrate the little victories in life. The first person to call to tell the greatest achievements to. And treasured meeting at the park to talk while the kids played.
As I physically could not endure anymore and had to leave, I was so so so sad.
Saying goodbye to my dear sister, her home and the memories, were almost more than I could endure. My heart shattered into a million little fragments. I felt the separation coming....physically.
I will miss her dearly. Words cannot describe adequately the comfort that having Jodi so close brought to me. Just knowing I could see her anyway brought relief, comfort and solace to my heart. I felt secure. Safe. I knew she would drop anything if I really needed her. She would be there in minutes.
What I wasn't expecting was the added will or determination that her moving brought to my heart. Throughout my illness, I knew if anything happened to me that Jodi would step up and love Hayden as her own. She would help to make sure he was taken care of and okay. It brought such security and peace to me as I brushed death on many occasions.
There are so many that would step up and help. Who have. I'm not belittling any of their valued efforts. I guess it awakened something inside of me. I need to survive. I need to live. But I digress.
I have been blessed with the greatest sister. I believe wholeheartedly that because we would not have a mom to help us navigate this life for long, that our dear Savior blessed us with one another. I'm grateful for her. All the ways that she has enriched and blessed and beautified my life. She is a lifesaver in so many ways.
I know we will always be close. I know that I will still talk to her everyday. I know that if I ever really need her, she will still do whatever she possibly can to be there for me and Hayden. I will miss her everyday. But will cherish even more the moments we get to spend together.
Saying goodbye.... One of the hardest things I have ever had to do. (Tears stream down my face as I write this. As the reality if it all is setting in more and more.)
That being said, I know that Jodi is following the Savior. I know that she was inspired to move. I know this was the will of our Savior. I am so proud of her and her willingness to walk into the darkness trusting that the Savior will light the path as she takes one step at a time. I know she is bringing her family closer together and closer to our Savior. I know that she will have trials that are unrecognizable at the moment. That she will gain a greater testimony and greater faith in the Savior as she walks this next phase of her life. I am so proud of her and the choices she is making. She is following the Savior. She is about his business. And to me, that matters more than us living close. It matters more than the security of her living near me. It matters more to me than the comfort of her near me. Because I understand the importance of following the Savior even when I do not understand. I trust him. I know he never asks us to leave anything behind that is better than what lies ahead.
Mortality is short. Eternity is long.
I want my sister and my precious niece and nephews with me in the Celestial Kingdom. I want to be together for eternity. I know in doing this, Jodi is teaching her children that when the Savior calls, you answer. He teaches us to trust him. He lets us know that he won't ever leave us. He won't move away. He won't ever leave. He won't ever move. He is always near. And ultimately, He is the one we need to rely on for peace, security, comfort and support. Both of us are learning that lesson right now.
Thank you, Jodi for giving of yourself and constantly being such a support to me. I love you more than you will ever know.
No comments:
Post a Comment