Doozie

Déjàvu. Am I reliving yesterday all over again? The evening was so similar, yet almost more intense, with the second night of a row dealing with a doozie of a seizure followed by multiple smaller ones. The itching and intense pain from the aftermath of the seizures are common symptoms for me. So for two days in a row, I have endured similar symptoms that have taken me to my knees and caused me to just sit in a ball and rock back in forth in unbearable pain.

I have prayed for strength. Pleaded for comfort. Begged for any sort of relief. And hoped that sleep would overtake my body and bring a much needed break from the intense itching, throbbing migraine and jerking bolts of shocking nerve attacks. 

What I did find for relief in the very early hours this morning was an Epsom salt and oatmeal baths. It didn't completely take away the pain, itching and jerking movements, it did take the edge off. So, tonight, I have lived in the bath. I have soaked in the heavenly relief of those Epsom salts, I was grateful for each moment I felt any relief at all. 

The painfully miserable days that all I can do is just endure, makes me so grateful for the good days. The days when our dear Savior grants me relief. The days when my body relaxes and settles in. The moments when I can sit and just enjoy the small stuff and delight in the time with my family. 

This week has been rough. It has brought more gratitude and appreciation for the good days. So I will continue to endure.  I will continue to hope that the days ahead bring more days of relief and less seizures. But whatever the road is, filled with bumps and rough terrain or a gentle climb, I am grateful for the chance to get to walk it.