We canceled cable but told Hayden it didn't matter because his three favorite shows were on Netflix... Myth Busters, River. Monsters and A Monster Inside Me. Smiles stretched across his face and an ok because he was excited he had his shows.
No kidding, within a couple of weeks of us canceling cable, what does Netflix do? They switch their line up. They drop not just his beloved Myth Busters from the lineup but also River Monsters, A Monster iNside Me, What Would. You Do? And so many more of his "go to" favorites.
Really? You have got to be kidding me.
Oh well. I break the news to him and he checks for himself. He enters "m y t h space b u s t e r s" into netflix. Nothing. He goes to the computer to search it up and types it in. Nothing. He switches to Hulu, he again searches for Myth busters and his list of favorites. Not there. He again checks the computer and frantically searches for any way to get his daily "fix" of his shows and his escape. Nothing.
There may have been serious mourning. But I figured that was the end. What? Drop something? Forget about something he loves? (We STILL have discussions frequently about our beloved dog, Toby that was killed by a car when the landscapers left the gate open. He was four. 8 years ago yet every time. Max or Maya almost get out the gate he screams something about Toby. Yet I distress and got sidetracked.)
The next day Hayden gets up. What is the first thing he does? Checks netflix and Hulu. Did Myth Busters miraculously appear overnight? Ok. I don't think much about it. He's disappointed. After lunch, he again checks for Myth Busters, this time asking if he is possibly misspelling it. I assure him. Netflix doesn't change shows daily. After dinner, he again checks. I smile to myself and tell myself how much I love him and his qwerks.
Day after day, the same thing occurs. Wake up...check. Netflix. Afternoon. Check Netflix and. Hulu. Night time check again....just in case.
This Monday morning rolls around. Hayden goes to pick up the remote to check for Myth Busters and River. Monsters. It's not there. I again sit him down. I explain that they carry certain shows for awhile and then switch to others. They do not change back daily or weekly but especially not hourly. I tell him we need to find a new series. Maybe. Blue Planet or the new National. Geographic series. He reluctantly says ok. I then tell him to drop Myth Busters. No more searching it up. I was not very nice or friendly about it. I lost it. We have talks and talked about it. How do I get thru to him??? Augh. I walked in the other room and called Thomas and told him when he got home, he had to deal with this. I couldn't handle having this discussion even one more time.
I walk in my room a couple of hours later....what is he doing? Searching for Myth. Busters. I tell him to stop. I take the remote and tell him to finish his assignments. At that point, I looked him in the eyes and asked why he wasn't getting it. I told him he was obsessed with it and needed to stop. What does he do? Mid-sentence he cuts me off and explains all about OCD and how Chad and he both have it and he couldn't help it. I admit, bad mom moment, I tuned him out. I couldn't do it anymore. I gave up.
Thomas called on his way home. I broke down into tears. Not just about Myth Busters or OCD but just the insecurity I feel and my own inadequacy. I cried. I lost it. Thomas came home and before he even made dinner he sat us both on the couch. He looked at me and then Hayden. He lovingly talked to us and expressed his sorry that we both had such a rough day. Then, he said a prayer. For our home to be filled with love. To be filled with the Spirit.
Then he does what my husband is so great at doing. He laid his hands gently upon my head and gave me a priesthood blessing of comfort and peace. That I would feel calm and again carry the Spirit with me. That I might be still inside and hear the promptings of the Spirit and our Savior. That I would be guided in how to help our son. That I would feel the strength of my Savior while parenting. And that I am the mom for my boy.
The peace came. The day and feelings of frustration and hopelessness and despair and anger dissipated. Peace and love filled my heart. I was promised help in guiding my son.
The , my dear husband switched from husband to father. He again utilized his priesthood power and laid his hands on Hayden's head and called down the powers of Heaven. Hayden was promised by his loving Father in Heaven that his OCD would be calmed and he would find peace. He was told he would quit worrying about the things he could not control. And peace and calmness entered his heart, as it did mine.
Thomas then made egg and bacon and ham and onion and cheese omelets. One of our favorite dinners. It was delicious. Thomas sat on the couch next to me and my boy. For family night, we found new shows that could be watched together. Thomas helped Hayden decide what other things could be watched during documentary time.
We had a very short family home evening. But we felt the Spirit. Was saw and felt the changes the priesthood blessings brought into our home.
It's now Thursday. Hayden has not once asked for Myth Busters. I have faith in priesthood blessings. They calm my spirit and soul and ease my troubled heart. Whether I need peace from mothering a boy with needs I cannot meet or just to have a calmness in my mind, I am so grateful for a loving husband who knows what we need and follows the Spirit.
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