Crazy day

I can honestly say that Tuesday was one of the absolutely most exhausting and crazy days of my life. All the kids were out on Spring break. Jodi had doctor appointments for Brigham and the dentist appointments for both Brig and Talmage. Suzi had a meeting and couldn't take Cooper and Ollie. Therefore, party at my house. Technically, Brooklyn, Hayden and Cooper were supposed to babysit. I was going to do my usual supervising but staying put on the couch. Oh was I terribly mistaken.

Brooklyn did a great job and really tried with mr O. But, Ollie man was way overwhelmed with all the noise, completely overstimulated and a quite exhausted from all the stimulation the previous day and complete lack of routine. Add two tired boys in the mix, a little spaz man Talmage and it was quite the day. Hayden was exhausted and put himself in time out in my room to escape the noise and chaos about two hours into the day. He too was completely out of control and done with the chaos and noise.

I curled up in the chair out front and tried to stay put. That was my intention. However, kids don't always cooperate with the plan.

Poor Suzi, when she got here, I just wanted everyone to leave. Jodi laughed that she can tell when I am done. I tell whomever that I don't need anything but to just hurry home.

Such relief swept over me when that door closed. I looked and Hayden and called mandatory nap time. Of course, that elicited tears. Many tears. Hayden sobbed at me and I back at him. We both cried ourselves to sleep.

I cannot believe that a mere three hours could take me down that bad. Not to mention, Jodi helped me for an hour and a half. So in 1.5 hours, I about killed myself.

I cried and cried that night. I thought I was literally going to die. I guess this body of mine is still so weak that anything and everything takes me right down.

It has been three days since that day, yet I still hurt so bad and am so sore. I cannot believe how quickly my body shuts down. How badly I hurt. How miserable I still am.

I want to record these feelings so I know where I am at physically today. To know how weak my body is so that I can joy in the progress from here on out.

I also want to record the overwhelming and completely exhausting days when tasks that should be easy aren't. That bad days occur. Some moments feel like an eternity. But they pass. The hardest challenges become more bearable.

And although my body is extremely weak, struggling to do even the most basic of tasks, I am still grateful to be here. The pain helps me know that I'm alive, still here and still fighting.

As I look at this picture, I smile. Because even amongst all the chaos, pain and struggles, I absolutely adore these cute kids. And although overwhelming, there were some precious moments that I cherish.

And who wouldn't love Ollie repeating, "I love Jer." And expressing over and over that I was bright like an angel. Good times even amongst the struggles.