And it came to pass

I have struggled with how much faith do I really have? How much am I expecting a miracle? How am I feeling with the events that have occurred? Most of all, am I doing all I should be in order to qualify for the blessings of heaven to be poured down upon me?

As I have sought for answers to these questions, I have really searched the scriptures. I wanted to understand more clearly the workings and miracles of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I started in the New Testament and read about the miracles of the lepers, healing the unclean woman, raising Lazarus from the dead, healing the blind and many others. I was specifically looking for time frames. How quickly did healing occur and what steps were taken. I then switched to the Old Testament and studied Moses, Joshua, the children of Israel and the time frames. It struck a cord with me that a few short verses span forty years.

At that moment my focus changed. I quickly flipped to the Book of Mormon and instead of just reading the passages, I paid attention to the dates, the time frames and the years that were spanned in a few short verses. In my effort to catch the meaning of the doctrine, I lost focus of the time that some of the events took. Since the verses are back to back, it felt as though the events happened in a relatively short time frame.

However, there are usually five little words that represent years and tens of years of time. "And it came to pass".

A miracle or event occurs. Then "and it came to pass".  The next verse states the healing or lesson is learned. Fascinated by this new found knowledge, I began searching the scriptures with a new outlook. I again started back in the New Testament to search Christ's miracles since I knew most of the Old Testament stories took a long time.

Themes were constant. Miracles or life changing events occurred. Time passed. Then the scriptures show the changed person or the changed events. But because the scriptures are so close together, it feels like the changes should come quick, be instantaneous and trials over.

However, as I studied, I realized that where life really is made or lost is in the moments that the scriptures simply state, as it came to pass.

What will we do, I do, in those moments after the miracle or change and before the conquering is complete? I believe that those moments, the ones we struggle to figure out, cling to hold on, and keep trying, are the moments that actually define us.

We have received an answer, a change of heart, the overwhelming feelings of understanding have passed, life has taken back over and the day to day struggles of life have set back in. I believe it is in those moments that really define us. Will we stay true to the change or will the daily challenges of life take us back to who we were before the miracle?

I believe that is why there is so much talk of enduring to the end.

The change of heart is uplifting, a feeling we may have never felt before, we feel close to the Savior, and want that feeling to never end. But then real life sets in and we have to learn to maneuver the change and incorporate it back into our regular lives. Find the balance. It takes time. It isn't a change that takes place overnight. It takes practice, reconfiguring, juggling and a lot of prayerful moments or trying to balance what is needed to be done.

These moments are so personal. They must be balanced and conquered thru much prayer and help from our Savior.

These moments can be a real struggle. There are ups and downs. There are successes and failures. Many times it is an internal struggle to just figure it all out.

I believe the "and it came to pass" moments are the ones that build character, help us learn who we are and where we learn to find balance in our lives.

After studying and researching this topic for days and hours upon hours, I learned that in the "and it came to pass moments" is where we see who we are and what we are really are made of. We find the strength deep inside to change, trust our loving Savior, persevere and endure to the end. Once we have been sufficiently tried and test, the miracles come. The blessings promised are granted.

I am living in the "and it came to pass" moment, right now. I am trying to find my way. I am trying to figure it all out. And although I want all the answers now, all the blessings to come and all promises fulfilled, I know that right now is not the time. It is my time to remain faithful. My time to persevere. I must do all I can to endure to the end.

Although I may not have the blessings immediately now, I am so grateful for the understanding that was given to me, so that I can more patiently bear the trials given to me. I will forge my course while living in the "and it came to pass moments".