Monday, August 7, 2017

Latest health update

The end of June, I started into new symptoms. Fun ones. Intense itching so bad that it is like my blood itself is itching. TMI but horrific diarrhea. And deep bone pain. Nauseousness that never disappates.
After coming home from the beach, the symptoms got so bad that I went to the doctor. They tried prescriptions for the itching and steroids to try and calm my system down. It continued to get worse, not better.
This last week I went to a new immunologist. He was amazing. He said that my system is shutting down. He ordered a ton of bloodwork. He will go after IVIG treatments, bone marrow biopsies and trying to see what information he can get from the neurologist. He also referred me to a rheumatologist and cardiologist.
I saw the colon rectal doctor on Friday. After a quick meeting, he wanted to do an emergency colonoscopy today. I refused due to it being birthday time. So Friday I get the fun of another one in less than a year. He also ordered several other tests and blood work. Not fun.  I was prepared for the rest but not him.
As Thomas got home and gave me a blessing to ease my nerves, the blessing calmed my heart. But my deep fears were more pronounced. The blessing assured this was the path I needed to walk, expressed that this journey would get more difficult and it is the Lord's plan that the upcoming events play out in his way and for his benefit.  I can't imagine how hard it was for Thomas to assure me that there was something new going on, and that this new disease or symptom set was serious and would not be going away. The blessing continued with how loved I am, how much my Savior and Heavenly Father love me and that when the journey got too difficult for me to handle, they would wrap me in their arms and carry me through. I had a feeling of peace enfold me yet a clear knowledge that something was wrong. Not only was this serious but something that would require huge amounts of strength for me to endure. And in the end, I needed to remember that I am safely in my Father's hands. And whatever the outcome, I am loved and cared for. The blessing assured me of my husbands. Love and how much he and I have the same goals. We both want eternal marriage and to be together forever. It assured me that death was simply the next step in our journey. That our separation would bring us closer together and not tear us apart. It expressed the depth of Thomas' love for me. It expressed his desire for us to dwell eternally together forever. From there the blessing moved to my dear son and talked of how much he loves me. It talked of the truths Hayden learned from me and how much he wants the best for me. I was reassured motherhood was eternal and I would influence and be with Hayden beyond this life. I was reassured of how many pray for me. How many love me. It again expressed that this road, even though hard and treacherous, would bring me home and into mymSavior's arms.
Thomas and I both shared tears, hugs and our testimonies. We talked of eternity. We talked of promises made to one another. It was a beautiful heartbreaking moment. But oh so tender. I'm grateful for a husband who loves me so much. That stands by me and loves me.
This road has many heartbreaking moments but even more miracles and beautiful moments.
I'm grateful for this journey as it has given me a beautiful relationship with my Savior, my husband and son and so many loved ones.

Answering a call

I quit blogging when life became too overwhelming and I just wasn't ready to share all the details that were emerging in my life. I started simply recording in more detail for just my family. I felt that the way I was to help and share our lives, testimonies and experiences on Instagram. However, recently, the Lord has made it clear that his desire is for me to again start blogging our journey.

As I do this, I will try to be as transparent as possible. I will detail the good and the bad, our fears and heartache and our miracles and triumphs. The nitty gritty is not pleasant. We are struggling now to face things and struggling as what and how much to share with others. But, if the Lord asks me to share, to write down and share our experiences, I will,follow him. Please understand my greatest desire is to follow my Savior where he leads. I trust that he takes our journeys and helps as many people as possible. I only pray that my words will adequately convey the message he wants written.
I also write for Hayden and my posterity. I want my children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews and loved ones to know of my testimony of Jesus Christ. And I write to document that no matter the journey or hard things we are asked to walk, that we do not have to walk this life alone if we will simply reach out to our Savior.

A huge thank you to all those that have walked this journey with us. We are grateful. We love and appreciate your continued support.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Maya and Max

These two are little tender mercies in my life. I love their cuddles and love. I love their little spirits and the happiness they bring. So lucky these little fur babies are mine. 

Monday, April 24, 2017

My loves

Uncle thomas

Oh how Iove this boy! Jodi was getting supplies for the beach. She found a fan with water to help keep the temperature down. Jodi asked brigham, "do you think Uncle Thomas will set this up for Aunt Jer each morning if we buy this?" 
Brigham replied the truest statement. "Mom, uncle Thomas lives aunt Jer so much. He would do anything for her." 
So true. Yes. Uncle Thomas loves me tons Brigham. 
I pray Briggy that you and Hayden and talmage and all the nephews of mine treat their wives as wonderful as Thomas treats me. 
You are very observant Brigham. I love you. You are caring, loving, sweet, sensitive, kind and wonderful just like Thomas. You boys are going to be such great husbands and dads. I love you all. 

After church

Relaxing at Jodi's is the best! Love all these cute faces. 

Church together

We love going to Jodi's Ward. Hayden feels needed at church there as he leaders get so excited when he comes. He loves passing the sacrament and helping to prepare it. Thomas loves some of the families and I love being at church with this gang I love so much. Nothing better than celebrating our love for the gospel and Jesus Christ all together.