Monday, August 7, 2017

Latest health update

The end of June, I started into new symptoms. Fun ones. Intense itching so bad that it is like my blood itself is itching. TMI but horrific diarrhea. And deep bone pain. Nauseousness that never disappates.
After coming home from the beach, the symptoms got so bad that I went to the doctor. They tried prescriptions for the itching and steroids to try and calm my system down. It continued to get worse, not better.
This last week I went to a new immunologist. He was amazing. He said that my system is shutting down. He ordered a ton of bloodwork. He will go after IVIG treatments, bone marrow biopsies and trying to see what information he can get from the neurologist. He also referred me to a rheumatologist and cardiologist.
I saw the colon rectal doctor on Friday. After a quick meeting, he wanted to do an emergency colonoscopy today. I refused due to it being birthday time. So Friday I get the fun of another one in less than a year. He also ordered several other tests and blood work. Not fun.  I was prepared for the rest but not him.
As Thomas got home and gave me a blessing to ease my nerves, the blessing calmed my heart. But my deep fears were more pronounced. The blessing assured this was the path I needed to walk, expressed that this journey would get more difficult and it is the Lord's plan that the upcoming events play out in his way and for his benefit.  I can't imagine how hard it was for Thomas to assure me that there was something new going on, and that this new disease or symptom set was serious and would not be going away. The blessing continued with how loved I am, how much my Savior and Heavenly Father love me and that when the journey got too difficult for me to handle, they would wrap me in their arms and carry me through. I had a feeling of peace enfold me yet a clear knowledge that something was wrong. Not only was this serious but something that would require huge amounts of strength for me to endure. And in the end, I needed to remember that I am safely in my Father's hands. And whatever the outcome, I am loved and cared for. The blessing assured me of my husbands. Love and how much he and I have the same goals. We both want eternal marriage and to be together forever. It assured me that death was simply the next step in our journey. That our separation would bring us closer together and not tear us apart. It expressed the depth of Thomas' love for me. It expressed his desire for us to dwell eternally together forever. From there the blessing moved to my dear son and talked of how much he loves me. It talked of the truths Hayden learned from me and how much he wants the best for me. I was reassured motherhood was eternal and I would influence and be with Hayden beyond this life. I was reassured of how many pray for me. How many love me. It again expressed that this road, even though hard and treacherous, would bring me home and into mymSavior's arms.
Thomas and I both shared tears, hugs and our testimonies. We talked of eternity. We talked of promises made to one another. It was a beautiful heartbreaking moment. But oh so tender. I'm grateful for a husband who loves me so much. That stands by me and loves me.
This road has many heartbreaking moments but even more miracles and beautiful moments.
I'm grateful for this journey as it has given me a beautiful relationship with my Savior, my husband and son and so many loved ones.

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