I decided to leave the music on while I read my scriptures this morning. I couldn't turn off the pleasing music, comforting words and tangible spirit I felt. So, I turned down the volume so I could still read and think over the volume. I picked up my Book of Mormon and turned to some of my most treasured and reassuring verses.
As Mormon council-ed Moroni of the utter destruction and sheer disregard of the people for God, I felt the ways I could be better. That I could exhibit more faith. That I could be more patient. More loving. More Christlike.
I continued reading and my heart filled with overwhelming peace and comfort. I also felt the Spirit talk to me as to how I can be better.
Than I read in Moroni and was reminded of important truths. I found overwhelming comfort as I read Moroni 9:22 and heard the precious words, " I pray God will spare thy life". I pleaded for my life to be able to continue. I continued my reading and my heart again leapt when I read the words, "Jerlyn (or technically My son) be faithful in Christ.... May Christ lift thee up".
As I continued into the final chapter of the. Book of Mormon, Moroni exhorts us to do certain things to come unto Christ and teaches us how to live. He tells us to read, remember, ponder and pray. He exhorts us to not deny the power of God. And that we do not deny the gifts of God. We need to remember all good things come from God and to have gratitude. To remember that God is always the same and unchanging. To remember the time of God comes soon. And to Come unto Christ and lay hold of every good gift.
I read and re-read these verses. I made a mental note of where I stood on each and where I definitely have room for improvement.
Most importantly I allowed he spirit to teach me. To comfort me. To bear witness to me of the truthfulness of these things.
I don't know why me being confined to a disabled body is best for me, my husband, my son and for the furthering of. Christ's gospel but I do know it is.
I may not always see things as clearly as they are but I have learned so much.
I am much closer to my Savior. I hear. His voice. I love Him. He matters more to me than anyone else or anything else.
As I read the gifts that come from God, I was able to reflect at how many blessings I have been given and my family has been blessed with. What beautiful gifts we are given... Manifestations of the Spirit of God, ability to teach words of wisdom, ability to teach word of knowledge, to have exceedingly great faith, gifts of healing, ability to work mighty miracles, to prophesy concerning all things, be holding the angels and ministering spirits, the gift of tongues, interpretation of tongues, and to know that every good gift cometh of Christ.
I have been so blessed.
If I make a list of my earthly blessings, I feel although I am greatly blessed, I come up short. I struggle with my health, financial struggles, trying to desperately figure out how to do our obligations, losing our home, and the list goes on.
But, if I judge my life based on the gifts of. God and His blessings, I feel so richly blessed. I have felt the ministering of angels. I have been the recipient of so many miracles. I have felt His redeeming love and continue to do so. I have received knowledge that our Savior lives. I have experienced such hope, such love and such comfort that I cannot deny that my Savior walks with me. That He is aware of me, Jerlyn, his daughter. And. He loves me. Jerlyn.
I feel so much gratitude. I feel such peace. I feel overwhelmingly loved and cared for.
As I look back on my lists. I'm grateful for the latter. I wouldn't trade the spiritual and eternal security for temporal security. I wouldn't trade heavenly blessings for earthly ones. I wouldn't trade financial security for the precious gift of knowing my Savior. How much would I give up to have experienced the miracles and felt the power of Heaven bring my body back to life. These gifts are priceless to me.
So although He asks me to bear horribly hard earthly challenges. Where we have not been able to find any security whatsoever. He grants my spirit peace and security. He loves me. He knows me. He cherishes me. And someday, I will again be wrapped in. His loving arms. I will find refuge and find peace and hope and comfort in knowing I am His.
It's a true gift when nothing changes yet everything changes. By keeping the commandments and following our Savior, and picking up my scriptures, nothing changed but everything changed. My circumstances are the same. But now, I feel overwhelming gratitude for what I've been given. Just simple joy.
No comments:
Post a Comment