Subpoena served

While at the dentist fixing the last of my cracked and broken teeth, I get an urgent text from Hayden saying someone was at the door asking for me. He wouldn't answer but the guy kept pounding. He was scared. I was scared for him. I told Lisa to speed back. I was panicked and scared for my boy. He was giving me the play by play. We raced home. 

My heart skipped a beat as this man with papers in his hand walked up to me and asked my name. I had never before been served a subpoena. A summons on a lawsuit. My heart felt like it would pound so fast it would take off on its own. Then my heart skipped a beat. 

The server explained what I needed to do. When I needed to appear in court. What and who was suing us. 

I didn't know what to do. This is uncharted territory. We knew that bankruptcy was immenint. We knew there was a possibility of them coming after us. But this company had cleared things up with us. Written it off due to circumstances. Then, another company bought the loan. Probably a penny on the dollar.  They are ruthless. They will not understand nor work with us. They want to take us for all we have which isn't much these days. But, it is all we have. We have one car. We sold two and bought one. We owe on it but it looks like they are going to take our only car anyway. They want to garnish Thomas' wages. They want to ruin what is left of our lives. 

Each month, we pick and chose the meds I take based on how much money we have. We eat a lot of ramen. We don't spend money ever. We try so hard to make do. We buy all of our clothes from garage sales. I buy food from discount stores. We have sold everything worth anything. But, it isn't enough. 

We cannot declare bankruptcy yet as Hayden has heart surgery and I have to go forward with a testing regimine and fear of another surgery. With my liver shutting down, I am so scared of liver failure and needing other services. So although bankruptcy is needed, we have to endure whatever they do to us. We are praying for an understanding judge. A miracle. A help. We are praying for a door or window or something to open for us. We are praying for a way out that we do not see. We are pleading for our Savior to intervene on our behalf. 

Our job, regardless of what happens, is to have faith. Faith that whatever these debtors do to us, we will have the ability to keep our utilities on, keep our car so Thomas can get to work, pay to fill the car with gas, and pay to put food on the table. All else doesn't matter. We are praying to be strong enough to sustain this trial along with the others we are dealing with. We are pleading for help. We are praying for patience and more long suffering. We are pleading for strength. We are begging for help. Either to help the circumstances change or that we will be strong enough to endure whatever else is thrown at us. 

Regardless, we know we are not alone. The Savior loves us. And although this is so hard and it feels as if the trials are piling on quicker than we can even cope and get our heads around. The one before is still swimming in our minds and has knocked us flat and the next one hits as we try to lift our head. Yet. We know we are not alone. We have had help from our Savior each and every step of the way. And we know whatever we are asked to face, He will walk with us. He will carry us, He will lead the way and He will strengthen us so we can bear up our burdens with ease. 

And although my heart feels like it may break in half and that the world has trampled it raw, I will not give up this fight. I will continue to give my all. I will continue to praise God and my Savior. If they have faith in me that I can endure, somehow, someway, I will continue to keep walking, going, fighting and surviving.