It continues...twists and changes...

And the plot continues....

Insurance again denied all. Everything. 

I contacted the doctor office. The doctor is still gone. There is nothing they can do. 

So. We search. Search for answers. Search for options. Search for help. Search for resources outside of medical world. 

We are looking into alternative treatments in Mexico and other places. We are reaching out to all natural doctors. We are praying and pleading for guidance and help. 

Prayers are appreciated. Please pray that we will be able to embrace, accept and do whatever our dear Savior asks us to do. We have put our trust in Him as we seek further understanding and knowledge. We have told Him that in all things, "Thy will be done."  

We love our Savior and loving Father in Heaven. Our desire is to so what He asks. We trust His path. We give Him our true devotion. As we try to seek His ways and path He desires for us, we pray that doors will open and we will find His will. 

We are watching one of the Star Wars movies tonight. The fight between good and evil is real. We came to this earth to receive a body, choose good over evil, remain true to our covenants and promises made with our Savior, and to return to His presence. As I watch the fight between good and evil, I feel such a pull to do our Savior's will. To fight. 

As we watched Anakin turn from the Jedi Force to the Dark side, I was reminded it is the small steps and small decisions in which we determine our destiny. Do we allow anger and jealousy or hatred and entitlement to cloud or judgement? Or do we remain faithful and humble and patient and willing to submit our will to that of our Savior? 

I find myself at a crossroad in life. One where anger and resentment, frustration and entitlement could take over. Where frustration over fairness and long-suffering could easily be cultivated. I will not let anger or fear or frustration win. I will be patient. I will humbly submit to all things the Savior sees fit to have me walk. Regardless of the outcome. Regardless of the pain. I choose love, hope, repentance, goodness and our Savior's will. Until my Savior can say of me, "the force is strong with this one." 

And I may have feared up a bit when Yoda said, "death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the force."  

And I smiled as Yoda said, "Patience you must have my young Padawan!"  I wonder if that is what the Savior is saying to me. "Oh Jerlyn, have patience."  I'm sure trying. Whatever lies ahead. I'm willing to submit.