Faith vs. Despair

The Murphy household is trying to demostrate and practice as much faith as we can muster. Whatever else is going on, we can honestly attest that God lives. He loves us. He is directing our lives in ways we could not do without him moving mountains. Yes, the health issues are still a factor. In fact, each day I am getting a little sicker. We are trying to figure out answers while keeping going. We know that this would not be possible without God's help. We feel his presence. We feel his love. We can see evidences of him in each and every day.

Today’s Thought

Despair--how many of us suffer from it? Yet we do not realize that it is purely the absence of faith. We cannot despair as long as we are willing to turn to God for help in our extremity. When we are troubled, and can’t see a way out, it is only because we imagine that all solutions depend upon us. We must remind ourselves that our human wisdom and ingenuity have often failed to bring the hoped for results.

Perhaps our too-heavy burdens have made us lose what faith we once had in our Heavenly Father. Perhaps faith was never a part of our lives and we are not convinced we need it.

The reality and efficacy of faith, as a force for good, can be demonstrated. When we let go of an overwhelming problem and let God handle it for us, we find that Divine Principle truly has a part in our lives.

A natural faith is indeed a gift, yet it is never denied to those who feel the need of something to cling to and are willing to reach out for it. Knock and it shall be opened, seek and ye shall find, ask and ye shall receive. When I consciously surrender my will to God’s will, I see faith at work in my life.

Linda’s thought=God answers our prayers for our best good. When what we perceive as a bad outcome may be exactly what needs to happen so that we (or our loved one) can become who God knows we can become. Where there is no struggle there is no strength.

Easter Morning

I had to share what I posted on Mormon.org/Easter. Wonderful testimonies are being shared on that site. If you haven't had a chance yet, go and add your own testimony of Easter or the Savior. Here was mine....

I cannot imagine my life without the knowledge of a loving Savior that knows me, my circumstances, my heartaches, my joys, my pain and my heart. As I have been battling some life threatening and scary health issues over the past year, I have learned more and more what it really means to lean on the Savior and trust him. My testimony of a personal Savior came when I was young, in high school, and my mother passed away. I learned to trust him, turn to him for comfort and as I patterned my life after him, I felt peace and comfort. As I went about my life, I tried doing all the things I was supposed to do. This past summer, I had a minor surgery, and everything changed. I had serious complications and have been battling each day for my health. Through this experience, I have become so close to my Savior. I have an entire new understanding for the Atonement. It is far beyond what I believed my entire life. Yes, the Atonement was the greatest act of selflessness and love in all time. But, not only did my Savior suffer and atone for my sins, but he also suffered all manner of emotions, pain and suffering that I am experiencing with my health issues. He felt the pain, the heartache, the unknowing, the longing to be healed. He understands my deepest emotions, fears, pain and suffering. He took all of that pain upon himself for me, because he loves me. I cannot express my gratitude for my Savior as he walks each and every step of this path with me. There are days that I cannot do it on my own and he carries me. He brings insurmountable comfort to my soul, he calms my heart, he brings me peace and an assurance that with him, I can walk the path that I am on. There are not words to describe all of the tender mercies, sweet reassurances, peace and love that the Savior has given me during this trying time. I know he knows me, Jerlyn. He knows how to comfort me and bring me joy.
This Easter morning, I am so grateful for my knowledge of my Savior, his atoning sacrifice and the best news of the gospel that HE LIVES. He lives, and if we choose to follow him, try to become like him, he will and does bless us so much and we too, will live again with Him.

Letter from Jerlyn to a friend

This is Thomas-Jerlyn received an email from a friend and this is her response to it... I thought we needed to keep record of it, so I posted it....

Thanks. Not many people think so. Jodi and I had a great talk about Joseph Smith and Job yesterday. Not that I am in their class, but I definitely look up to and respect them. I guess I am much more empathetic this year than ever before as to their heartache and plight. It is interesting. What I thought before would have been some of their hardest things or trials, seem so much different to me today. I guess until one has walked a very long and unrelenting path, it is hard to understand what most takes a toll. I understand so much clearer now. I am sure that at the end of this ordeal or my life, I will understand even more profoundly the truths that are contained and hidden in their lives. Right now, my journey is to discover the truths they did, all while trying to keep my life as much together, as possible. It is a journey that I was not ready nor prepared for. But, there is no going back for re-do's. We have but one shot at this. I am hoping that right now, as I press forward harder than I ever have before in my life, that even though the blessings and rewards will not come in this life, that they will come. I am banking on eternity. My decisions are far less about today than figuring out how to get me, Thomas and Hayden back to our Father in Heaven. There is no way I am blowing it now, this all has to be worth something. I do know that my Father in Heaven knows I am clearly, head held up and strong, on his side. The battle lines are drawn and there is no question where I stand. That, when it boils down to it, is all that matters. So, I guess how I feel, my strength or lack thereof, does not matter, only that my feet are planted firmly, solidly and squarely, right in front of my Lord and Savior.

I am living for the moments that the Savior says to me, "Peace be unto your soul, for this is but a moment. If you endure it well, ye shall live with me on high." Oh, His peace. That is all that makes a difference right now. When I can no longer go on, my own handcart is being driven forward for me. There are angels that lift me and carry me to my next place. I just try to keep remembering...all I must do, is give my all, nothing more, nothing less. That is what he requires and that is what I am giving. Peace fills my soul, because I am doing all he is asking.

So, I hurt, I am in pain, I am weak, I am lonely, I am scared yet with Him, I am ok. What more can I ask for than to know that right now, if he stood in front of me, I could tell him, I have done my best. Not enough, not what others could do, but honest to goodness the best that I am capable of, and stretching to obtain and be more than I ever thought possible. So, I guess I am okay. Tired, worn out, exhausted, spent and can hardly move my body, but really I am okay.

Thanks. Right now I could use all the love, support and encouragement that those who love me are willing to give. Unfortunately, besides a very few of you, I have utilized all love, sympathy and support that was theirs to give me. I appreciate the few of you that have held on, in spite of me not being able to give much back. If it is of any worth, I have been promised that those of you who step in and help, will be greatly rewarded and blessed. I am appreciative and so is the Savior. My thanks, love and gratitude may be insignificant, but His isn't. His is worth it, so I allow you all to help, knowing that His blessings will outweigh anything that I am asking of each of you. For that reason, I am excepting of everyone's help.

I love you.

Jer

Mud Jacuzzi Bath

Having a boy is indescribable joy. He sure is loud and hyper and full of life. But, he also has the gentle side to him and he loves his mama. One afternoon, Tyson, Brooklyn, Brigham, Talmage and Hayden were all playing. They were having squirt gun wars, laughing, giggling and having a great time.

From outside, I hear giggling and Hayden yelling, "Oh mom, I have a surprise for you!" I apprehensively went outside, not sure if I was being set up as target practice for their streaming water guns. I peeked my head out and asked what he wanted and he told me he needed me to come here.

As I walked over, I was told that they had created a "mud spa and jacuzzi" for me. They had dug out a hole, filled it with water and it was definitely muddy. Hayden was so proud of himself as he told me to climb in. He said that he saw that mud was good for your skin and relaxing and since going to the spa was expensive, he made me my own mud jacuzzi. I laughed and had to be a good sport and climb in, after all, my sweet son had made it for me.
It felt squishy on my toes, and I almost fell trying to get in. But, to see the joy on Hayden's face was indescribable. He was so proud of himself for creating a spa experience for me.
I didn't stay in long. I did compliment him on his spa and mud bath and told them that they should all try it out. Brooklyn was so funny. She asked if we really paid money to go get all muddy. I loved how proud Hayden was of himself for giving me a spa experience. He kept asking me all night if I felt better after going to the spa. He was so funny!

I love being a mom to a boy, not any boy, but my boy! He sure is great, even if I have to climb in a puddle of mud to show my appreciation for his thoughtfulness.