Church in PJ's

This is definitely one of my favorite weekends of the year. It's a pajama wearing, cinnamon roll breakfast, cuddling on the couch, being spiritually fed weekend.

Twice a year we are blessed to listen to General Conference on TV and hear wise council from the prophet and general authorities, women leaders and other officers of the church.

As I have spent the last two days listening, I have come closer to my Savior, rededicated myself to his will and have vowed to be better at living as a disciple of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for the wise council given.

These are some of my favorite tidbits of knowledge that I walked away with:

• I have come to know that FAITH is a real power, not just an expression of belief. - Elder Packer
• As we remember the covenants we make within the temple, we will be more able to bear every trial and to overcome each temptation. - President Thomas S. Monson
• We must build upon a sure foundation. - Dean M. Davies
• We are meant to age, for with it comes the knowledge of truth. - Elder Boyd K. Packer
• You can depend on the Lord. - President Henry S. Eyring
• We are not Alone. We are not spiritual orphans. - Stanly C. Ellis
• The Power by which the Heavens and Earth were created is the Priesthood. - Elder Russell Ballard
• True friendship is like the asphalt of life. It fills in the potholes and makes the journey smooth. - Elder Richard G. Scott
• She understood who she was & whose she was. - Elaine S. Dalton
• There are few things more powerful than the prayers of a righteous mother. - Boyd K. Packer
• Our part matters because we matter. - Elaine S. Dalton
• Regardless of your circumstances you can center your home on the Lord, Jesus Christ. - Elder Richard G. Scott
• The answer is the Savior, the author and source of Peace - Elder Quentin L. Cook
• Hold the ground you have already won. Be true to the faith you have. - Elder Holland
• If you're not a full-time missionary with a missionary badge pinned on your coat, now is the time to paint one on your heart. - Elder Neil L. Anderson
• God's light is real, it is available to all. It has the power to soften the sting of a deepest wound.- President Dieter F. Uctdorf
• Why not choose a time each day to disconnect from technology and reconnect with your children? - Rosemary Wixom  (or as I am referring to it, Disconnect then Reconnect)
• Spiritual light rarely comes to those who merrily sit in the darkness waiting for someone to flick the switch. - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
• May we be a light on a hill. May we in this latter day be a beacon to this whole earth. - Tom Perry
• With Christ, Darkness cannot succeed. - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
• Terrific marriages are completely respectful, transparent and loyal. - Elder L. Whitney Clayton
• Darkness exists, but do not dwell there. Light also exists. It is the light of Jesus Christ. - Uchtdorf
• Seek after any of the flock that stray. - Dallin H. Oaks
• Stay on the Lord's Side and you WILL win every time. - Richard G. Scott
• When our only desire is to please God, we will be blessed with Deep inner peace. - Bruce Porter
• Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions and concerns. But first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe. - Jeffrey R. Holland
• Virtue is the strength and power of the daughters of God. - Elaine S. Dalton
• What e'er thou art, act well thy part. - Elaine S. Dalton
• I shall ever praise Him for the privilege of being a woman, a wife and a mother.-Sister Dalton
• The priesthood in the boy is the same as the priesthood in the man. - Tad R. Callister
• God is not the author of confusion but is the author of peace. - Elder Quentin L. Cook
• We don't have to wait to cross the finish line to receive God's blessings. - President Uctdorf

And possibly my favorite of the entire conference - 

• Imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with! That must be terribly frustrating to him, but he deals with it.  - Jeffrey R. Holland

I am hoping that these great quotes will stick with me as I strive to become better, remember who I am and try to reach my goals at becoming closer to my Savior. 

Mountains to Climb

Many of you have commented and asked how I was able to walk this trial and journey. This was nothing I walked alone. I followed where my Savior led me and was his student throughout this journey. As I was studying tonight, I came across this talk that was a huge strength to me this last year. (Mountains to Climb by Elder Eyring) As I read it again, I was reminded of the lessons that were taught herein. I will paraphrase his talk while inserting my own lessons and experiences.

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing."

Many of you, as am I, are now passing through physical, mental, and emotional trials that could cause each of us to cry out “When I have tried all my life to be good, why has this happened to me?”

As I myself asked this question in the beginning, I was guided to the scriptures where the Lord answered that question for the Prophet Joseph Smith in his prison cell:

“And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

“The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

“Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.”

There seems to me no better answer to the question of why trials come and what we are to do than the words of the Lord Himself, who passed through trials for us more terrible than we can imagine.

I learned well that the only way to face and rise above these challenges is to believe that there really is a "balm of Gilead" that The Lord has promised. He repeatedly promised us, "I will not forsake thee."

In each moment of my trial, when the pain, heaviness of the weight of the trial, or my endurance grew faint, when I could muster up no more strength on my own, I would kneel down or cry out to my Savior for strength and comfort. It was in those moments that I learned that my Savior, my Redeemer, would hear my cries and he would indeed comfort me. He never did forsake me.

As Elder Eyring stated, "I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment."

I know well the feelings of hoping for this trial to end, to be taken from me, for my burdens to be eased. I have lived the feelings of uncertainty that I was missing something or that I was not understanding what was required of me. But I bear witness that in those moments of doubt and despair my Redeemer came to me, he sent his spirit to comfort my soul, he surrounded me with his peace and he eased my pains with his love. The trial was not taken from me but I was strengthened so I could carry the trials that were heaped upon my back.

As I read further in his talk, I loved and clung to these promises that were made, "If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions, we can choose the right with the guidance of the Spirit. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. And with prophets revealing to us our place in the plan of salvation, we can live with perfect hope and a feeling of peace. We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word."

I have felt the encompassing love of our Savior as he never left me alone. As promised, the Savior sent angels to bear me up and help me to bear my burdens. He gave me added strength, he helped me to endure what I could not endure alone, and he carried me when I had no strength left inside me.

I know the road ahead is still rocky. I have not yet reached the top of my mountain. But I am assured that as I continue to walk and continue to climb that my Redeemer, my Savior, and my friend will keep his promises. I know his angels will be on my left and on my right to bear me up. He will not leave me comfortless but will send me his peace and his love. I will continue to be healed by the balm of Gilead. I will go where he leads and follow him to the end.

For I know his peace, his love and his promises are sure. I have been blessed to feel his loving arms wrap around me in my own moments of despair. In those moments, his words of comfort, peace and reassurance have kept me going.

As I continue to climb my own mountain of trials, I am comforted by his promise that he will strengthen me to bear the burdens and trials that are placed before me. I hold fast to the promise that all these things shall give me experience and be for my good. I find comfort that my Savior always keeps his word. He promises not to leave us comfortless.

I add my own witness that as Elder Eyring taught, I have found that the hardest times in life, as well as the easiest, can be a blessing.

The road has not been easy but the blessings have come. The experiences I have faced have definitely been for my own good. The Lord has sent angels to bear me up. He has comforted me. He indeed has kept his word.

My forever gratitude to my Savior for carrying me and loving me. He is my strength. He is my light. He is my hope. He is my peace. What comfort this sweet sentence gives. I know that my Redeemer lives!

Fast & Testimony Meeting

The first Sunday of each month is set aside for us to fast and then attend a special Sacrament meeting where all are invited to stand and share their testimonies of the Savior and the experiences that have led them to their beliefs. To fast is to go without food and drink voluntarily for a certain period of time. Fasting combined with sincere prayer can strengthen us spiritually, bring us closer to God, and help us prepare ourselves and others to receive His blessings.

Last week, our ward members held a special fast for me. It was the combined efforts, fasting and prayers of so many, for my behalf, that opened the windows of heaven and poured blessings down upon me and my family. My gratitude for all those that fasted and prayed for me is inexpressable.

Today was the day set aside that as a ward we gather and in fasting join and share our testimonies.  After the experiences of the last week, I knew that I wanted to get up and thank all those that prayed and fasted and express to them my gratitude and in more detail the miracles that have taken place over the past week.

After the Sacrament was passed and the testimony meeting was about to begin, my heart was beating through my chest and my palms were damp with sweat. My heart knew the stories I needed to tell, but I still get nervous standing up in front of so many and sharing me deepest and most sacred feelings.

As I walked up to the pulpit and looked out over the congregation, my heart swelled inside. Because of the love and support, prayers, fasting and pleas of these people to our Father in Heaven, I had the privilege of standing before them. There are no words to express the deepest gratitude and appreciation of my heart.

I shared my love and broke down the past two weeks and the miracles that had taken place in our lives. I began with two Saturdays ago when Thomas and I were in prayer and the Bishop called to see if the ward could hold a special fast for me. In those precious moments, although so unsure about so much, I felt the love of my Savior and his arms wrapped around me. He knew of my fears and wanted to show me the love placed around me.

Immediately after church that next day, I felt the prayers and my body started overcoming the meningitis. I felt the strength of so many praying for me. I then expressed the details of last Sundays events, what the doctors were saying, and the events that took place throughout the week.

I expressed my great gratitude for being alive to stand in front of them today. I relayed that the blessing assured me that through the combined fasting and prayers of the Desert Mountain ward that the Lord was granting their pleas and sparing my life. Because of these wonderful people that I was surrounded by, I was still here.

I went on to testify of our Savior. I testified of his goodness. I testified of my knowledge that he lives. He loves us. He knows each of us individually. He knows our deepest fears, deepest agonies, greatest desires of our hearts and the very beings that we are. I expressed that no matter how difficult this trial became, the fact was, my Savior stood at my side. He lifted me. He carried me. He shed tears for me. He sent his earthly angels to surround me and buoy me up when I was faint.

I testified that our Savior does indeed still work miracles today, just as when he walked this earth. He continues to bless us. He continues to heal us both spiritually and physically. And, in my case, he has literally spared my life time and time again.

I bore testimony of the great plan of salvation that was prepared for us from the beginning. That even if I would have died, that I would see Thomas and Hayden again and be with them in the next life. I praised our Savior for his love for each of us and our ability to remain as families forever.

I ended with the words to I know that my Redeemer lives, assuring them that I believe, with all my heart that my Redeemer lives. He comforts me when I am faint, he listens to my heartaches, he lifts me, he walks with me and he loves me. I have felt his warm embrace. I have been encircled by his love. I have felt his healing powers. I am a living witness of his miracles and his love.

My love for my Savior is without limits. He knows me. He loves me. He cares for me, just as he does for each of us. Nothing we do can keep him from loving us. His love is perfect and complete.

The Spirit was so strong. I again felt the loving arms of my Savior wrap around me and let me know I am his.

After this incredible experience, my sweet husband stood and humbly, quietly, and with the Spirit bore a beatuiful testimony of turning things over to the Savior. That sometimes it takes all we have to say, "Thy will be done". But, when we do, He wraps us in his love and we are taken care of.

Thomas testified, as I did, of the miracles of Jesus. The miracles that have been so generously and incredibly placed in our lives. He expressed gratitude that the Lord spared my life. He expressed his deep love for our Savior.

I love my sweet husband that relies on our Savior. That he hears His voice and is willing to submit his will to that of our Savior's. He is a great man. I am so blessed that he is mine.

When Sacrament meeting was over, the love and hugs that were expressed and given were beyond words. I felt so loved. I felt so safe and secure. I felt the loving arms of our Savior wrap around me by all those giving me hugs today. It was an experience I will never forget. The love that I felt, indescribable. As the meetings went on, the hugs, expressions of love and well wishes were endless.

As I sat in Relief Society, surrounded by these amazing daughters of God, my mind escaped to my Savior. As I was being wrapped in the arms of love here, I thought to myself and wondered what if I hadn't made it. A calm encircled me and I felt reassurance. The love that was shown today would have been the same but in a different sphere. Had I gone home to my Father in Heaven, I would have been encircled there in the arms of so many who have gone before and love me. As it was a glorious day at church here, it would have been a glorious reunion in heaven, I am sure.

The gospel is true whether we are walking our lives out on earth or if we go on to the next phase of our progression in the heavens. The relationships and love we share and give is endless and never forgotten.

Our Savior lives. He loves us. I have felt the warm embrace of our Savior as he has walked me through my trials. He has helped me to find the good, see the joy and feel the incredible peace that comes from knowing this is his plan, he is in charge and if I put my trust in my Savior, all the details will work out.

I am grateful for the miracle of my life. I am grateful for my Savior's love. I am grateful for the prayers from each of you, my loved ones and friends. May the Savior watch over and bless your lives, just as he has mine.