Monday, February 14, 2011

Ma'Kayla is HOME!

We are all so grateful for all of the prayers, fasting and service that was given during the time Ma'Kayla was in the hospital. The doctors are all in awe of Ma'Kayla's quick and miraculous recovery. Not only is her liver rejuvenating itself, it is doing so at an incredible speed. The doctors and nurses are unable to explain the turn around except that a miracle was performed.

A week ago Thursday, my dad and Casey administered a priesthood blessing to Ma'Kayla. The mood that night at the hospital was so very sad as each of us could feel Ma'Kayla slipping from this world. Ma'Kayla had been unresponsive and the doctors had said that although she needed a liver transplant that she wouldn't survive one. After the priesthood blessing was given and the power of heaven was drawn down, Ma'Kayla started to improve. Day after day, they would see small improvements and more shock from the doctors as test results started coming back better and better. A week and a half later, beyond any best expectations the doctors could have hoped for, little Ma'Kayla is at home and resting. She still has a way to go to get back to her 5 year old spunky little self, but she is well on her way.

I know that the Lord can and does perform miracles today. Ma'Kayla is living proof of that. I am not sure what Ma'Kayla's mission is here on this earth, but Hayden is right, she must have an important work to do, since the Lord stepped in and allowed her to live.

I am so grateful for the power that priesthood blessings bring to those receiving them. I know that thru priesthood blessings that miracles can and do occur on the earth today. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing Ma'Kayla, and our entire family, to experience one of his miracles. I know this entire experience has strengthened my testimony in the Savior and His power to perform miracles. I hope Ma'Kayla will always know that her Heavenly Father and Savior love her and she uses this experience to ground her own faith and testimony in them.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Hayden Conversations

Lately, we have had a lot of conversations dealing with Ma'kayla. Hayden is trying to figure out why she is so sick and if Heavenly Father can take a child from this earth.

We had a long talk on the Plan of Salvation and agreed that Ma'Kayla's mission isn't over, it is just whether or not her mission is to be fulfilled here on earth or in the Spirit World. He was so sweet and asked if I would go draw the Plan of Salvation for Ma'Kayla so she wouldn't be scared if she did end up having to leave this earth and went there.

As we were driving home from school on Monday, Hayden asked me, "Mom, do you remember the story of the baby girl in Nauvoo that she received a priesthood blessing and got better. Then, her family joined the church, believed in the Savior? The baby ended up dying. The baby girl's mission was to bring a lot of people to the Savior? Do you think that is Ma'Kayla's mission?" We had a long talk about death, life and what the Savior's plan is for each of us. I was so surprised that Hayden is listening so much when we talk and share stories with him.

Hayden walked in my room the other day with a huge smile on his face. I asked why he was so happy. Hayden responded, "I don't know Mom. I can just feel the Holy Ghost so strongly and I can't help but smiling when I feel him so close to me." I told Hayden that the Holy Ghost was telling him that he was happy with him for the good choices he has made in trying to offer prayers for Ma'Kayla, the example he has set and the acts of service he has rendered. Hayden's smile grew and looked as if his face would burst as he exclaimed, "Mom, there he goes again. It feels like the Holy Ghost is going to squish me because he is squeezing me so hard." Then added, "I know... maybe its because the Holy Ghost is on one side and Jesus is on the other." I will always cherish this conversation with Hayden. I am so grateful that he is able to recognize when he has the Spirit with him.

Hayden's Prayers

One thing that I have throughly enjoyed lately is listening to Hayden's prayers. The other night, he was praying for Ma'kayla and I was deeply touched. It went something like this, "Heavenly Father, you do realize that Ma'Kayla is only 5 years old, don't you? You do realize that there isn't any possible way that she could have completed her mission here on earth yet. Maybe what she needs to know is that you are real and that you love her. That will make her fight harder to stay alive. Maybe no one has ever told her about you and she just needs to feel your love." He went on. It was as if he were having a conversation with me.

I really stopped and paid attention to that prayer and have thought about it every day since. I have tried to structure Hayden's prayers. Say Heavenly Father, show gratitude, ask for blessings, etc. What Hayden showed me is that he really does see his Father in Heaven as just that. When Hayden comes to me, he doesn't tell me thanks and then ask for what he needs. Some conversations between us is Hayden asking for help, others are questions, trying to understand situations and yes, the best are just the, "I love you! You are the best mom!" Hayden taught me that he has figured out the true way to pray and to hear. Oh, how I love this little boy that is showing me the road back to my Father in Heaven. I am so blessed.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Fast and Testimony Meeting

Some months I am in a much better place to actually listen and feel the Spirit of our Heavenly Father, His Son and the Holy Ghost. This was one of those days. I so needed to just feel peace. I needed to know that I was His daughter, he knew the challenges I was facing and that He was with me. I am so grateful to say that as I sat there today, listening to the sweet testimonies borne, that the Savior did reassure me that he is aware of me, my struggles, my challenges and my needs. He loves me, not because I am perfect, not because of anything I do or don't do, but he loves me just because I am HIS! My heart needed to feel that today. I am grateful that my Father in Heaven knew just how much I needed to know that he is aware of me today. I have a very real testimony of my Father in Heaven and his son. And, although, no matter how hard I try, I seem to always come up short, they still love me and are easier on me than I am on myself. I have learned to rely on them. I am so glad I know that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father that loves me! For that knowledge, I am so very grateful!

Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith

I have loved Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith's music since high school. It was always very comforting and uplifting to me. I love the messages in their songs and some have taken on very personal meanings to me that have helped me thru different situations. I love music and the effect that it has on my soul.

Julie knew that these two are my favorite Christian singers and being in concert together would be something I would love. Last night we went to the concert and I can honestly say it was better than I even expected. I loved the feelings of hope, peace and joy that their songs projected. I loved that it was exactly the peace that I needed to feel with all that has been going on in my life. I was able to sit back and really appreciate how each of their songs they sang had effected or comforted me during different points of my life.

I was very grateful to be able to go, relax and just sit back and enjoy the beautiful, uplifting music that was played! It was a wonderful evening!

Ma'Kayla update

It has been such a rough month for Ma'Kayla. She was transferred to U of A Medical Center on Wednesday night. Everyone was so much more hopeful than they had been at the hospital on Tuesday night. The mood was one of hope and answered prayers. She was so sick yet was being moved hospitals to receive the much needed liver transplant.

Thursday morning bad news came in. She was too sick, too unstable to receive a liver transplant. A living donor was completely out of the question. Prayer, fasting and sheer intervention from the Lord was needed to save her little life. I called Jodi, Jake, Suzi and quickly arranged for Joyce to pick up Hayden. We all headed down to Tucson to be with all the Bair's. I offered so many prayers to my Father in Heaven as to what comfort I could give, what hope I could offer and how to be of any help at all. Sweet family prayers were offered, Ma'Kayala was given more sweet and comforting priesthood blessings and there were kind words exchanged by so many.

In the moments while I sat alone, just thinking, I asked the Lord what his plans for my sweet 5 year old niece must be. How could taking her back to him now be of a benefit? Couldn't the family learn more from him performing a miracle and letting her live her life? What was her purpose on this earth? Trying to wrap my head around death is hard, but around a 5 year old that I love dying???? I wasn't sure how to do that.

Tears were shed, lots of hugs given and late that night we headed back home, unsure how Ma'kayla could possibly pull out of this. The poor little girl couldn't move, had a completely failing liver and amonia levels that were high enough to cause death.

Friday, she had a better day. My amazement was that on Saturday afternoon I received a call that Ma'kayla, sat up, ate and recognized people. I was in shock. A good shock but utter amazement. The Lord has worked a miracle in this little girl's life. She isn't out of the woods yet, but she is holding on. The Lord is showing his love, mercy and his ability to completely perform miracles today. I am grateful for HIS love and mercy! I am very, very grateful!

Logan's Turns 10

Logan and Hayden are such great buds and cousins. They sure adore one another. Yesterday was Logan's birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza and Hayden was counting down the days!
Victoria is so much fun. So spunky and always doing crazy things. She is such a joy to be around!
Lily wasn't quite so sure about Aunt Jer yesterday! Nothing some MnM's, tickles and rolling a ball with her couldn't fix. She is so tiny. 14 months old and just a cute little thing. Lots of fun playing and spending time with all of them!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


My little niece is struggling so much, trying to hold on to life. As I sat up at the hospital yesterday afternoon and from moment to moment the information of what the doctors were going to do, and what was happening was changing, the mood was so sad. My own emotions and feelings overcame me so many times and I had to step away. This poor little girl is only 5 years old. She is in complete liver failure. So much has taken place in the last couple of weeks while she has been in PICU.

Right now they are trying to get her approved for ACCHS so that they can air flight her to the U of A Medical Center. Her little life is hanging by a thread and she is continuing to get sicker and sicker.

I feel so much for all of her family. Her mother and father looked completely broken yesterday. I remember feeling that way. I remember the sheer saddness and despair of feeling like I was losing my son. However, even in the depths of my despair, I had the hope and peace that only the gospel of Jesus Christ can and does bring. I am so thankful that I understand that our Heavenly Father's plan is a very real thing. Our Father in Heaven prepared a plan for us to be together again forever, even when our time on this earth is over.

I am grateful for the tender moments that have been shown during this very sad time of Ma'kayla's sickness. So much love, tenderness, kindness and Christlike service has been shown to everyone during this time. My deepest prayers and love go out to all involved in helping Ma'kayla. All we can do right now is pray that she gets better and that the Lord will grant a miracle to take place on this earth.