After the doctor, Suzi, Jodi and I played cards while the kids played Minecraft and Thomas was in meetings.
Jodi and Suzi had sympathy for me and let me win at Dummy Rummy. On 11's, Jodi even had to help rearrange my cards. I couldn't figure out a game that I once was amazing at. (Yes. It's true. I certainly schooled Suzi and Jodi in my day). Now, I can hardly concentrate enough to know what can go together. Rearranging after heading for a goal, was absolutely impossible.
I don't say this for sympathy, but to document my journey. This illness has depleted me of so many things I love. But, when I start getting down on those little things, I am reminded of the bigger picture. As I handed my cards to Jodi, for her to help me figure out my hand, I was embarrassed. I felt like I was having to relearn to play.
As I looked over at her, Suzi and Jodi didn't laugh or mock. The love in my sweet sister's eyes said it all. She doesn't love me or value me because I am or am not great at cards. In fact, she wouldn't care if I could never play a hand of cards again. She values me because I am her sister. Her friend. Suzi loves me for me. In fact, truth be known, they probably love that my card playing skills have diminished. All the better for them. (Just kidding).
I loved being with Jodi and Suzi, doing something familiar. Doing something fun. Being together. Laughing. Talking. Sharing. Relishing in one another's company. And treasuring a very precious friendship and sisterly bond.
As my sweet little Brooklyn left crushed because she wouldn't see us for a other week or so, I was touched. These sweet children, that I absolutely love and cherish, want to spend time with their bedridden aunt. They too, do not care my capacity for anything but to love them and to cherish them.
Standing at the car, Talmage said, "bye, mom! I'm going to stay with Aunt Jer now. You can pick me up at the beach. When you get to the beach and get ready to leave to go back home, I will go with you then, because I want to go to Lake Powell." Until then, in his little mind, he was content to hang with me,Thomas and Hayden.
Oh how I love my sister and her sweet family. I love Suzi. I'm so grateful for these two in my life. For the unconditional love and support and care that they continually pour upon my life.
As I walked into my room and got ready for bed, my heart was filled with love. The feeling swept across my entire body. "See Jerlyn, I told you, you are enough. Who you are. In this circumstance. Incapable of doing very much. You are loved and cherished."
I said a silent prayer of gratitude. To my Savior, for the lesson, for the gentle reminder, and a heart filled to overflowing with all the love I could hold. I smiled. And the beloved scripture, "thy cup runneth over" filled my mind. Yes. My cup definitely does run over. I have been blessed beyond measure.