Saturday, June 15, 2013

My dream vs. my reality

I awoke this morning to a house full of munchkins. Everywhere I walked there were kiddos laying in all sorts of funny positions. One laying on the bed cuddling with me on my bed, one sprawled out across the arm chair, one laying side ways on the pile of blankets on the family room floor and one curled up in a ball, mummified in a blanket. As I saw this scene this morning, a huge smile spread across my face.

Life is funny. Had someone asked me to picture my life 20 years ago, it would look much like the scene in my house this morning. Four kids sprawled out all over the family room and in my bed. A dog that was a part of the family, frantically trying to lick all the kids to wake them up to play. And a  husband that loves us all and is ready on Saturday morning to watch cartoons, make breakfast and relish in the joys of playing and wrestling with a bunch of our children.

I may not have the entire picture every day but I do get occasionally. It makes me realize that there isn't just one happy picture. A perfect life can take on many different scenarios.

Yes, I would have been happy with four kids, a dog and a wonderful husband. I love the chaos. I love kids talking a million miles a minute and laughing with one another. I love that there is always one that wants cuddles.

I also absolutely love that I can devote all my time to one. I love that I do not feel as pulled between trying to meet the needs of so many at the same time.

There are pros and cons to every situation in life. With the good comes the bad and with the joy comes heartbreak. I am so glad that I learned early on to cherish what I do have and not always look to what I wish would have happened or longed for the impossible.

As I see it now, I have the best of both worlds. I have a son that means the world to me, that I cherish and love and absolutely adore. I am able to be there for him most of the time and meet his needs because he is the only one.

When I long for more and the craziness that comes with a house full of kids, I get Jodi's kids. I get to experience the joy of a house full of munchkins. In those moments, I cherish the chaos, soak in cuddles from more than one child at a time, and relish in the laughter that comes with a bunch of kids in the house.

So for today and the rest of the weekend, I will enjoy being a busy mom that come from having four kids in our home. I will enjoy the craziness and noise and messes and busyness. For all too soon our lives will go back to the calmness and rhythm of one boy, one dad, one mom and one dog.  

No, this wasn't my picture or my goal or my dream but it is my perfection. It is my joy. It is my life and my happy place. I love the life that I have been given. I cherish the joys and package that it has turned out to be. Lucky for me, I get to experience both. I really do have the best of all worlds.

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