Thursday, January 22, 2015

What next? mercury poisoning?

Is mercury poisoning a real thing? Apparently it is. Two weeks ago, I went in for a routine dental cleaning and walked out in seizures. The next day, I had several teeth fixed. I felt awful after and laid in bed for three days moaning. I couldn't breathe. I struggled for air. I thought we were hospital bound and I just wanted to be around the Q Sciences team so badly. I knew that could help me. I prayed for relief. I received a priesthood blessing. Relief came. Temporary relief. 

It was suggested I take an entire bottle of nano silver per day for three days to help heal my body. Tht is what I did. By day two, I felt better. That compiled with the priesthood blessing and a tender mercy from the Savior and I was able to attend the Q96 conference. 

However, Saturday afternoon, as I was leaving the conference, my body was trashed. I could barely walk. I hurt so excrutiatingly much. I wanted to sit down in a ball and just sob. The ride home was torture as every bump in the road felt as if I was being hit with electrical shocks. I cried out on the car and asked for strength to make it in the house. Ok. I asked for angels to pick me up and physically carry me in as I knew my legs would collapse under the weight of body. With help, I made it to bed where I collapsed. 

I prayed for sleep.  I was exhausted. Sleep evaded me. When I get over stimulated, sleep is non-existent. Instead, I battled all night, crying into my pillow, so I wouldn't awaken Thomas, Hayden or the dogs. The night was so very long. I was miserable. My prayers were constant. I could not express where one stopped and the next began. My prayers were pleadings for relief yet knowing relief could only come in the form of death, I would then switch to asking for relief from the torment and to be buoyed up to endure the pain. I pleaded for morning where I knew I could emotionally hand the baton off to Thomad and I wouldn't have to be strong. 

Morning came after a terrible night. However, the torment didn't end. Instead, something attacked my head that I had never experienced before. It felt as if someone or something took a grip to my brain, inside my head, and began to clamp it down tighter and tighter. As it tightened, the pain grew excrutiatingly more intense. I screamed in agony. It hurt worse than any seizure or headache or stroke I had ever experienced. I grit down and begged for help from my Savior and loving. Father in Heaven. Eventually the pressure and intense pain subsided to a dull but constant migraine tyoe headache. I didn't want lights or sounds to bother me. 

The itching began. Deep intense and up reachable itching of the veins all over my body. From the top of my head into my face and neck traveling down my chest into my abdomen, wrapping around my back and down each leg, both front and back, into the center of the tops and bottom of my feet and traveled back up my legs and torso and down my arms and deep into the center of my hands and stretching into each finger. Sheer misery. Then the crawling of my skin and feelings as if being overtaken by bugs crawling inside my blood added to the intensity. 

Thomas thought I had another horrific seizure as my eye and mouth were dropping. And I had no norm to smile or blink on my right side. I just knew I was exhausted, in more pain than I had ever endured and feeling uneasy, unsure and didn't know what to do. Do I surcumb and go to the hospital where they will pump me full of antibiotics, ct scans, MRI tests and medicines galore? Or do I try to just endure? 

Knowing we had no money in the bank and that a hospital stay would only end on more debt collectors and collections, and more medicine reactions to fight and meaning I would have to go off of Q 96, the decision was easy. We pray and plead for help and just try to endure the pain and miserable symptoms. 

As the day progressed the symptoms and more fun events took place. Until that evening, when I was in complete hallucinations. I didn't recognize my own husband and son. I was reaching for things and people not in sight. I struggled to tell what was real. Thomas panicked. He called Robert down to help him administer a priesthood blessing for the healing of the sick and afflicted. That was definitely the state I was in. 

The blessing brought a couple of hours of sleep followed by a similar night to the one before. This time, I was wishing I was at the hospital and scared to death and the exhaustion and pain was wearing on me. 

Monday, I realized new symptoms. I could not read. It felt like each time I looked at the 
Age. All the letters event into a bowl and were shook up and randomly placed on the page. Nothing made sense and the letters no longer formed words. This continued for three days. 

Other symptoms grew worse. I was terrified. This was different than I ever experienced before. Then The hiccups began. Days and days and hours and hours with hiccups. Annoying and loud hiccups. 

Sunday came around and another of my teeth shattered. Literally just ruptured. Great. More money. More dental work. I was so upset. But knew I couldn't do anything. The itching and bugs crawling upped it's pain and torment to an entirely new level. Miserable to more core. The hiccups increased. I no longer was able to go to the bathroom. I was miserable. 

Dr Shiflet opened his office on Wednesday. I was there early. I explained my two weeks. He asked me questions and tested me. Mercury poisoning. I tested sky high. He treated me and I felt relief for the first time in weeks. 

I can now add mercury poisoning to my list of crazy diagnosis and experiences. It was miserable and compiled with poisoning by not being able to urinate for over three days. 

My life is crazy. It is filled with the unknown and miser are moments. Moments the alin is so bad that I wonder if I would just welcome death. I know I can't. I want more time with my family and friends. I know I am not alone. The pain is bearable only because my Savior and loving Father in Heaven walk with me. I am surrounded by my saint of a husband, Thomas and our precious son, Hayden. I am embraced in love by family and friends and ward members and those that help fulfill my priesthood blessings by being the Savior's hands here on earth. For that, I a, so vet very grateful. I cherish each day I get to walk. I'm grateful,  so grateful. 

So my world may have twists and turns and not look like others but it is mine. The craziness of it means I am still alive. Which right now is my continued goal. Stay alive. I promise to continue to fight sd endure. But I am so grateful for the moments when relief does come and I find reprieve from the miserable moments. I do feel so very blessed. 

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