I am apprehensive about the medication going in. The last two times were so difficult. I know the Lord protected me, blessed me and pulled me through the complications that the last treatments brought on. But, I don't know how my body will respond to starting the treatments back up in the morning.
The last time I rode the elevator to the 7th floor, I didn't know what to expect, what was in store. The unknown was unsettling. As I sit here tonight, I am very aware that the last treatment came within an inch of taking my life. I am also keenly aware that the Savior pulled me through both physically and mentally. He held me when I could no longer cope, sleep came on when I could no longer deal with the pain and a sweet peace filled my soul when I felt too overwhelmed to fight.
I know I do not have the ability to walk this path alone. Fortunately, I do not have to. I know that the Savior will be there with me tomorrow as I make the long walk to my treatment room. I know that my Father in Heaven will send the Holy Ghost to bring peace and comfort to my soul. I will be blessed to have my amazing sister sitting next to me, encouraging me, telling me to fight and helping me to laugh at something one of the kids did to get my mind off the treatments. I will get sweet messages all day from my loving and kind husband, encouraging and supporting and loving me through this. He will also give me a Priesthood Blessing before I walk out the door in the morning. Blessings always bring me such peace and reassurance that I am in the Lord's hands. I am His. He knows me. He loves me. He will walk this road with me.
As I wrote that last paragraph, an overwhelming sense of peace, comfort and love overcame me. I was blessed with the knowledge and reassurance that I will be okay. The Lord will go before me and be with me as I endure these treatments. As I felt that peace a scripture from the Book of Mormon popped into my mind: Nephi 3:7 I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which was given them.
I know that my Savior, my Lord and my friend will hold me close as I walk the road set before me. What a overwhelming peace and reassurance to be blessed with. I love my Savior. I know that He can and will help me through this. All of a sudden, the fear has been lifted. I feel at peace. I even believe I will be able to sleep. Goodnight.