We had our very own Thanksgiving miracle. This is an entry that I have tried to write many times but as I tried to write, the tears of warmth and hope would stream down my face and I would put it away for another day.
On Friday, the day after thanksgiving, I received a call from my sweet sister. She asked if she could come over with JD and Josh that afternoon for a little while. My heart sank. Why? What was wrong? What had she done? Why would they come visit me, together?
I thought of the letter I had written previously to my siblings. I spoke of the paralysis, the changes in my health and bore testimony of my love for them and our dear Savior. I assured them it wasn't a goodbye letter, simply an update on my condition since we would all be together over Thanksgiving and letting them know that I would be limited in what I could do. As long as I was writing the facts of my health, I also felt the need to write the miracles and love I have been blessed with. For me, it all goes hand in hand. I cannot speak of the challenges without the blessings. And then realize that the blessings are a gift from coping with the challenges. It is a package. One cannot be separated from the other. The incredible blessings and miracles I have experienced have been a direct result of the life altering and really hard trials that we have endured. Regardless of how I look at it, the miracles and blessings have been so profound and so life changing that I wouldn't trade them, even if it meant me being able to give up the trials and challenges we face. So I testified of my love of our Savior and his great goodness and all that he does for us continually.
Jodi noticed my silence on the phone and asked what was wrong. I wondered if the letter had prompted fear or emotion or some reaction from the group. She assured me it was nothing more that her and the boys wanting to spend time together just as siblings. She expressed Jake's love and him wanting to be there but was out of town with Rosie for their anniversary. She said she had to go but would see me in a couple of hours.
I immediately hung up the phone and knelt down and prayed. I asked my Father in Heaven for me to have peace. For me to know how to answer their questions or concerns. That their hearts would be comforted if my email was too direct or too honest or too overwhelming. I prayed for peace for myself that I could answer any questions of my health without being too emotional or scaring anyone. That I might be able to be reassuring or comforting. And that we would all have an enjoyable visit, as siblings, just hanging out together. Peace flooded into my heart and mind. My body experienced the love and comfort and hope that can only come from my Savior and loving Father in Heaven through the power of the Holy Ghost. Tears were shed. Gratitude expressed. And hope and peace filled my soul.
The morning progressed quickly and soon Jodi and JD were at the door, soon to be followed by Josh. We chatted about life. Talked of our children. Spoke of fond memories. Laughed and talked and just caught up. I thought to myself that this was exactly what I needed. I needed time with my siblings just to laugh and talk and have fun. I thought of how much I loved them. What they truly meant to me, each of them individually and collectively. I thought of our childhood, our impressionable childhood years, what a great life we have had and all the incredible memories we have made. It was a perfect couple of hours. One I will always cherish.
Just as it looked like things were ready to wrap up, JD asked Jodi if they should tell me why they came. My heart sunk. Why were they here? Jodi's eyes filled with tears. I started to tear up unsure of what was going on.
Jodi reached into her pocket and handed me a piece of paper. No, not a piece of paper but a check. She spoke as I was trying to contemplate the situation. She told me that she knew that January was quickly approaching and knew that we didn't have money for my medications, any treatments or doctors appointments. She knew that I was working with doctors to try to wean off my medications so that I would not go into severe withdrawal effects of the seizure and heart and neuropathy medications. She knew that in order for me to get the initial treatment I needed, we needed to get the money for our deductible so we could afford to continue to get treatment for my health.
I was now sobbing, as was Jodi. I have no idea what JD and Josh were doing. I pushed the check back to Jodi, and told her that somehow Thomas and I would figure it out. It wasn't her responsibility. She assured me that I had in no way asked for money or implied that I thought they needed to do anything. She then collected the checks from Josh and JD and handed me three checks. They told me of their love and Jake's love and that Jake would also be sending a check. The four of them split our deductible so that I could received treatment in 2016.
Tears streamed down my face. Gratitude filled my heart. Love was so thick in the room. I was holding three checks for $1,250 each. The complete awe I felt was overwhelming. I hugged and thanked each of them and told them my gratitude and surprise was beyond anything I could have imagined. Silently, I said a prayer thanking my Father in Heaven for figuring this medical issue out for me. For allowing me to live another year with my loved ones. The generosity was overwhelming. My gratitude beyond words.
I am not sure what I said. I just know the tears wouldn't stop. I spoke of the uncertainty that Thomas and I were facing as I was in with new doctors and new diagnosis and new challenges to conquer. I spoke of praying each night for the Savior to open a door or window to a miracle that would allow me to have additional time with my dear husband and son and loved ones. I thanked each of them for the money, but also the hope that it gave, the life it saved and the continuation of me being able to spend more time here with those I love.
The spirit of God, the spirit of hope and love and kindness and generosity and the true Christmas spirit filled the room. It was a moment I will always cherish and remember.
My prayers were answered. My Savior answered my prayers by prompting my dear sister to contact my brothers and them to help us be able to continue this fight. They all willingly and lovingly and selflessly answered my prayers. My heart expanded that day as I grew to love my siblings and my Savior even more.
Words still cannot express how I feel. Gratitude encompasses my heart. I know that this gift that they gave was so much more than even financial assistance, although that was desperately needed. It was a gift of love, genuinely Christlike and brotherly love. It was a gift of hope. Hope in the days to come, hope for treatment, hope for relief, hope for doctors guiding me, hope for more time to walk this earth, hope for more happy days, hope for more precious memories with my family, and hope that I can still beat this disease.
My dear siblings gave me so many precious gifts that day. The gift of their company. The gift of knowing that I mattered. The gift of financial assistance. The gift of hope. The gift of love. The gift of family. The gift of another miracle. The gift of an answered prayer. The gift of more time. The gift of less pain. The gift of friendship. And so much more.
As I hugged each of them, tears again swelled. My love for each of them was so great. I was humbled to be blessed to receive such an amazing gift.
As I closed the door, I sobbed. I dropped to my knees right in the hallway. I said a prayer of gratitude that I was blessed to be each of these amazing people's big sister. I named all the reasons that I love and cherish them starting with Josh, then Jake and JD and Jodi. I said a prayer of gratitude for the gift of friendship and love that they gave taking time out of their busy weekends to spend time with me. I gave thanks for their love. I then offered gratitude for the gift of financial help. For the gift of additional time with those I love. My gratitude that our loving Savior still prepares a way for us to do whatever he requires of us. And lastly, I thanked our loving Savior for miracles. I thanked him for our very own Thanksgiving miracle.
We are truly blessed. Every day. We have been the recipient of so many miracles. So many more than we could every imagine or deserve or begin to even name. As we count our blessings, they are so numerous. Our blessings have no end.
I testify that the Lord, our dear Savior, answers our prayers. He works miracles on our behalf every day. Some we may recognize and clearly see and some may be harder to recognize. But we do not walk this path alone. He walks with us. He goes before us. He is at our right and at our left. He knows our needs before we do and he is already working on helping to provide us a way to do that which he hath commanded.
The scripture that came to mind was in the Book of Mormon. 1 Nephi 3:7 " I will go and do the things that my Father hath commanded. For I know that He giveth no commandment to the children of men save he should prepare a way for them to do what he hath commanded."
I was commanded to continue to fight. To struggle through and battle this disease. I was told that as I fight, I would receive heavenly and earthly help. That angels from both sides of the veil would be there to bear me up. Those that have left this earth life and gone before me would be at my side to help me to bear my burdens. And that earthly angels would be sent to lighten my load. My siblings were earthly angels. I know my mom sat with us in spirit that day. Loving that her children were helping her daughter. I was in the company of many many angels both earthly and heavenly.
It was a miracle indeed. Thank you is not enough, but all I have to offer, my sincere gratitude....my love.... my thanksgiving....Thank you for your kindness and hope and generosity and love. I will always and forever cherish these precious moments. I am the luckiest person to be surrounded by such love and generosity. I am truly blessed. And I will always rememeber our very special Thanksgiving miracle!
