I am not sure what to say about my health... I am improving. I still am battling pneumonia. I keep dislocating ribs from coughing so much. But, my energy is starting, ever so slowly to come back. The doctors told me that I sure am a fighter. I am fiercely holding onto life with everything I have. I am trying to conquer this illness and get back on the road of really living my life. I am mustering all the strength I have to give Hayden a "normal" childhood despite me being physically down.
What I have learned along the way has been life changing.
I always was on the go. Constantly taking Hayden new places, attending events, plays, movies, pumpkin festivals, school activities, and filling our time with shopping, eating out, entertainment and errands.
This illness has slowed me down. It has brought me to almost a complete hault.
Our days and weekends consist of hanging out on the couch, having movie nights cuddled up in our bed, breakfast in bed, playing games and just being together.
Hayden has taught me to play video games with him on the I-pad. Thomas and I have read together. We talk. We listen. We have meaningful family home evenings, we spend a lot more time in the scriptures, we pray together and we play together. We are so much closer as a family. We cherish one another and help each other out so much more.
What I would have thought was the "worst thing that could happen" has actually been "the greatest thing that could have happened" to our family. We cherish each and every day we have together. We make each one memorable and really count. We spend time together doing what is most important. In the end, we have had more fun times, more laughter, more one-on-one teaching time, more learning, more sharing, more lasting memories made.
I have been "forced" to slow down, breathe, one breath at a time, and in doing so, I have realized what a remarkable life I have been given. I am so blessed...I have been given so much..........I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I feel immensely blessed by my Savior and my gratitude is beyond measure.
In the end... I may have pictured a different way of life for myself but I definitely received what I prayed for. I asked to cherish my family more, for us to bond closer to one another, that Hayden would learn about service, and as a family we would grow closer together and all of us have developed a deeper and more meaningful relationship with our Savior.
We are blessed. The Lord answered my prayer and I received what I wanted, just not in the way I pictured the events unfolding but "this rocky road has led me to a beautiful place". And, oh, the journey, however long, hard and bumpy the road... it has definitely led me to a beautiful place...right to the open arms of my Savior who welcomes all that will come to Him. Within His love, His arms, there is no better place that I would rather be, especially since Thomas and Hayden are right here with me.