Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I may die...

Sunday night, as I fell I to bed, the thought crossed my mind.... "I think I really may die!" 

I was exhausted. Three days of partying. Three days of leaving the house. Three days of celebrating. Three days of going and doing. 

I cannot remember the last time I felt good enough to celebrate for an hour, much less on and off doe three full days. I was in awe. 

However, I was absolutely and with all my heart EXhAUSTED!!!

I had nothing left. Not an ounce of energy. All wiped.  All gone. I hurt at every pore and every molecule of my body. I cried out of pain. 

Monday morning brought pain I have not experienced in over a month. I cried as I felt just downright awful. I asked Thomas if I had endured this much pain over the course of three years. He said yes, this and more. I forgot quickly what it was like to feel so absolutely exhausted and awful. 

I was scared that I would never recover. I was reminded that just a short time ago, I was in a very different situation. I found myself back in bed. Flat in bed. 

I know it will get better. I know I will recover eventually. But I overdid it beyond belief. I almost killed myself, literally. I overdid it and I am paying dearly. I'm back in bed. Yes, I will eventually work my way back.out of bed. 

But, for now, I will remember to take it slow and easy. I will nurse my way back to health. I will take care of this body of mine. 

But, as I do, I will smile. Because I feel loved and cared about. I was able to celebrate with my family and loved ones. I felt on top of the world. 

But for today.. I still think I may literally die from over exhaustion. Bummer. I need to learn the scripture "do not run faster than you have strength". Oops. Forgot that one. 

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