Thursday, August 14, 2014

Visiting teaching talk

I'm speaking tomorrow night at a visiting teaching conference and enrichment night. I'm excited and nervous. In awe that my story has such a reach and interest. 

Hi. My name is Jerlyn Murphy. I am married to my wonderful husband Thomas and we have an amazing 12 year old son, Hayden. Many of you probably do not know our family because of the amazing journey we have been in in the last five years. But in order to understand the miracles, my story must be somewhat understood. 

Five years ago, Thomas and I were ecstatic as my pregnancy was progressing and we would be lucky enough to add twins to our family. We were elated and it felt as if all of the heartache from the previous failed adoptions and miscarriages would be worth it as we brought these new spirits into our family.  However, Happiness quickly turned to sadness as I miscarried these precious babies. I had miscarried many times before and this was not normal. I grew sicker and felt awful.  Six months later, we would figure out I had only completely miscarried one baby. Causing huge problems, an emergency hysterectomy. The next eighteen months consisted of five surgeries and a desperate search to repair my ailing body. 

The surgery that was supposed to end this medical journey, quickly turned wrong, as my main artery was clipped in surgery, I bled out and died. I had lost three fourths the blood in my body. To complicat matters, I would have a stroke and be given the wrong blood type. From there, I started into seizures and loss of consciousness, fighting for my life and dealing with autoimmune and autonomic disorders. 

For the past three years, I have been bedridden, for the most part. I am unable to regulate body temperature causing loss of consciousness and seizures when I'm out in the sun or heat. Cold weather bring blood clots. I have endured transplants and procedures. Meningitis and a coma. Pneumonia and multiple brushes with death. And a rare autoimmune disorder that mimicks Parkinson's, MS and Lupus.  My good days consisted of sitting on the couch instead of lying in bed. 

I was unable to care for myself, much less my son. I needed help to just get up and walk to the bathroom and to bed. I needed to find rides for him, to and from school, help with homework, rides to activities. I needed people to bring in dinner, clean my house, do laundry, grocery shop and do all the things required to run a household. Life became very crazy. Depending on the day, or month, I would also require around the clock care. 

We were so lucky to have help of this amazing ward. When I had a transplant and 24/7 care was needed, the relief society arranged for sisters to come on a daily schedule to help me and be there for Hayden. When we had to move, they arranged shifts to pack, clean our home and unpack our new house. Countless meals were brought in and an abundance of love was shown. 

Sometime during that first 18 months that we were searching for answers, my sweet visiting teacher brought over a copy of a conference talk by Elder Eyring. It talked of noticing the Lords hand in our lives each and every day. Desperate to bring peace and understanding and do all we could to bring the Spirit into our lives, we took the challenge and included this in our nightly family prayer and scripture study. 

As we began to look each night for the ways The Lord had blessed our lives and sent tender mercies to our family, we realized that although we could see the Savior in each act, the kindness, the answer, the blessing and the sweet tender mercy came from others who listened to the spirit and followed promptings. 

A couple of months after I bled out, Hayden came home from school craving popcorn. He loves popcorn and ate it every afternoon. We didn't have any and it was a rare occasion that no one was there but it was just me and my boy so he had to wait. I wasn't feeling well and went to sleep. Thomas came home and a sweet sister brought in dinner. 

As our nightly routine, My husband woke me up for prayers and our nightly routine. It was our sons turn to pray. In the prayer, I hear my son say, "and thank you for the sweet church lady that brought popcorn for dessert. I know if you are going to send me popcorn when I want it, I know you know how much more I want my mom to live. So if you are going to make sure I have popcorn when u want it, I know my mom will live." Tears streamed down my face. My sons fears melted away and his prayers were answered. I will tell you, in three years with many many meals brought in, that is the only time anyone brought popcorn for dessert. It was a testament that the Savior walked with us. 

Another day, the door bell rang. I went to answer it and again a sweet sister stood at my door. She said, "I'm here. What do you need?" I smiled and said I didn't think I needed anything but I appreciate you checking on me. She said, no. What do you need? I was driving down the road I felt the spirit say, "Jerlyn needs you right now."  So, I turned my car around and came over. I wasn't sure why she had that prompting as I was ok. Within five minutes, the school called. Hayden had a half day and no one showed up to get him. Do you have anyone that can come pick him up?" The Savior knew me needs and prompted someone to answer my needs. 

When Hayden turned 10, I was especially sick. There was no possible way I could stand and make a cake or make him his favorite birthday meal. Thomas was going to pick something up on his way home from work. A sweet sister called and asked what Hayden's favorite meal was and what kind of cake he liked. She said she was making a cake and dinner and would drop it off. I assured her that we were ok. It was her daughter's birthday and she didn't need to be making two completely different meals and cakes. That was crazy. She insisted. And I was touched. That night, on his way home from work, Tjomas received a call from the hospital. His mom was not doing well and would be thrown I to emergency surgery. She needed a blessing right away. Thomas was torn. Take care of his son and wife on his sons birthday or take care of his mom. When I told him that dinner and a birthday cake was just dropped off, we were ok, the Savior had looked out for us and in doing so, let him know where he needed to be...with his mom. 

And one that will forever touch my heart, is the day of my first immune system transplant at Mayo Clinic. The procedure was risky. It was critical for any chance at my survival but only came with a 10% chance of survival. We were nervous. My sweet sister went with me. As the drugs were administered and they began to take effect on my body, my body rejected them harshly and severely. I grew deathly ill. Emergency meds were used to bring me back. My vision left. I was deathly ill and it was scary. As the doctors pulled me back, my sister and I talked. She looked so tired and emotionally drained. I asked if she was ok. She just said she wanted to go home and sit in a ball and cry and sleep. Instead, I need to go home and make dinner, and I never made it grocery shopping. I have two kids that need to be at two different games and homework to help with. 

She went home and opened the fridge trying to come up with anything. As she turned around, sitting on the counter, was a beautiful dinner brought in my another sweet sister in her ward. It was my sisters favorite meal. The Savior had not forgotten her. He knew what she needed. As she saw the food, a sweet feeling came across her. As you take care of your sister, I will help take care of you. Her prayer of how to continue and keep all the balls in the air juggling came from that meal. Later, as she asked her visiting teacher why she brought a meal over, she said that as she was putting the finally touches in dinner, she felt the Spirit say, The Davis' need this meal more than you do. So she wrapped it up, dropped it off and took her own family to Filibertos for dinner. 

I could go on for days on end of all the experiences and all the times my prayers were answered by my visiting teachers and the sweet sisters in our ward. They have strengthened my testimony and met our families temporal and spiritual needs. 

So I began to realize that if I needed something, my Savior provided it for me. One particular day, I was really struggling. Hayden had an event at school that I was too sick to go to. I was struggling to just survive. My heart was broken and shattered into little pieces. I was struggling to hold on. Find hope and peace and comfort. I pleaded with the Savior for help. I prayed for someone to come sit with me so I wouldn't face this broken heart alone. Every hour I prayered and each hour brought deafening silence and unanswered prayers. I pleaded for peace. Strength. Any glimmer of hope. 

That night as I knelt down in prayer, I asked the Savior why when I really needed someone, he didn't send help. The answer that came was not what I expected. I felt his words. "Jerlyn, do you know how many people I prompted to come over? How many I told to drop what they were doing and visit you? I want to answer prayers, but the way I do it is through others here on earth. He continued. Do you know how many times I have prompted you to visit someone and you said ok, I'll fit it in this week. Or, perfect. I'll make brownies tonight and take them over tomorrow. There were people that needed you, not the brownies, but I need willing saints to do my work." That conversation changed me and I began praying that I would never again postpone a prompting. That I would respond when mymSavior called. 

By the way, because this ward in amazing. The next day, we received homemade bread and brownies, cookies and flowers,  a book on hope and many hugs. The sisters did hear the prompting of the spirit and did follow through, and Hayden thought it was one of the greatest days ever. 

Visiting teaching, taking care of one another became something I studied. There is only one church calling that we take by covenant. Visiting teaching. When we are baptized, we covenant to bear one another's burden, to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. As we visit teach our sisters, we are keeping our baptismal covenants with our Savior. 

Our Savior loves us. He wants to bless us. He wants to help us and guide us and comfort us. How he d"oes that is through one another. Sure. He could miraculously give us all we need but that isn't his way. His way is prompting us to help one another. To bear one another's burdens that they may be light. I know that as we pray to listen to the spirit, the Savior will help us. He will prompt us. He will guide us. Just as the sister stopped and came over and said I am here... What can I help with? We can  be the hands that help.  As we do what the Spirit prompts, even when It doesn't make sense, we can bring popcorn to a young boy and help the Savior be a piece of the answer to a prayer. And as we heed the call, we can be apart of the miracles and tender mercies that The Lord sends each day. We can help in being reason that someone sees the hand of God in their lives. 

Sisters, my gratitude to each of you is beyond words. I am grateful for all the ways that you have blessed my life and blessed my family. I am thankful for the love and support. I could have never survived this journey without your love, meals, help and prayers. 

I have a firm testimony of this gospel. Our Savior lives. I am alive because of his love. He has spared my life time and time again. He has answered my prayers. He has prompted those to ease the burdens that were placed in my back. I testify that as we keep our baptismal covenants and take care of our sisters here, we will be blessed and our burdens will be lighter. 

This church is true. The plan of salvation is real. This life is not the end. What we do here matters. I love you. I love this gospel. 


1 comment:

Unknown said...

Wow, Jer! What a great testimony of visiting teaching! I think you should submit it to the Ensign. I know if I ever have to talk about visiting teaching I'm quoting you! You kicked my butt. I can certainly improve in this calling.