My mom

This past couple of months has really been a struggle for me. Those closest to me have been so great to help me walk through this time in my life. Last week, things got serious enough that I wasn't sure how I was going to keep going on. I felt completely broken and not sure how to walk forward with my life. I dropped Hayden off with a friend and I drove straight to Julie's. I walked in, and just collapsed on her bed and started sobbing. I wasn't sure what to do or how to keep moving forward. I wanted to quit but how do you just quit life? Can't happen, so I was trying to figure out how to just be comforted. Julie walked in, didn't say a word, just laid down on the bed next to me and put her arm around me. I didn't say anything, only tears came. I laid there waiting for Thomas to come get me, I was in no shape to drive. The events and diagnosis from the doctors were too overwhelming for me to face, much less deal with. I didn't know what to do. As I was sobbing, I realized where I was.

All of a sudden, a calm came over me, I realized that I was then laying in between two of the most incredible women in my life. Julie was laying next to me with her arm around me and I could feel my mom facing me with her arm around me. I was literally being surround and enveloped in love by these two amazing women. They were trying to protect me, care for me and show me that I wasn't alone, even in one of my darkest moments. The feeling that heaven was right here on earth was overwhelming. I heard my mom whisper words of encouragement and hope. She told me that I was strong enough to walk through these trials, and that it was okay to lean on Julie, she loved me and would help me sort it out. Then, I could feel her patting me, the way that she always did to comfort me.

My circumstances didn't change that night, and the feelings of despair were still present. However, when Thomas got there, I knew that although I would have to face some challenges, that the Lord would make sure that I had people in my life to hold me during those moments. I can't begin to express the gratitude I have for Julie. I don't know how I would have walked this past year without her. The love and gratitude I have for my mom is so great. The comfort I feel when I am allowed to feel her presence reminds me that she loves me, cares about me and I will see her again.