TOFW part 2

As I walked into Time Out for Women last weekend, I was really at a point that I was struggling and had been really praying and pleading with the Lord for direction in my life. I knew TOFW was going to be exactly what I needed.

The speakers were all amazing and spoke words that spoke directly to my heart. My favorite quote from the day, "We are not earning heaven, we are practicing for it!" I think that is going up somewhere in my house, maybe on the door as I walk in the house. What a great reminder of the goal.

As I have walked this past year, I have learned so many lessons, been taught so much and have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. And, although I keep praying that I will figure out what the Lord is trying to teach me sooner than later, I know that he is trying to refine me. With all the health challenges, he has forced me to stop and just listen. I would much rather serve than be served, but I am learning that there are lessons in all scenarios. I am feeling like I am finally going to pull out of this, I haven't felt as good as this in over a year. Looking back, I will say that 2010 was a year of change and challenges but also a year of overwhelming blessings that have been poured down to our family.

I guess I realized that in the end, I will be like the 2 year old insisting to carry the milk jug....she just couldn't do it, so her mom picked her up and carried her, holding the milk jug into the house. Then she proudly announced to her dad, "Look daddy, I carried the milk jug all by myself." I know that right now, I am that little girl thinking I am carrying my own load. I do KNOW for a fact that the Lord is and has been carrying me thru this year and the trials I have been facing. And, I do acknowledge HIM, and all the strength, love and encouragement he has given me. I am thankful, even when I am tired, that he reassures me that when I tell him I can't do it anymore that he gently whispers, "Yes, you can...with my help." I know that is true, even when I want him to take the trials and pain away. And, I am so thankful that he continues to believe in me, even when I doubt myself.