Friday, March 21, 2014

I'm not sure....



I posted this on Instagram stating that I think I should be able to bench press a car or even more realistic that I am so done. That our dear Savior must be carrying me. I'm too tired to walk. I'm too tired to fight. I'm in too much pain to keep walking. And I am on the brink of throwing in the towel.

So many people commented and showed love, strength and encouragement. I am so blessed. 

Most days, I am able to face the challenges, with help from my Savior and those around me. I know that my loving Savior will pick up where I leave off. I know there are ao many around me that pick me up, encourage me and strengthen me to keep going. 

But someways, it feels as if the word is unrelenting. The trials feel stacked and unbearably heavy. The road seems too steep, too rocky and with absolutely too many smaller trials set along the path. Unbearable is the extreme emotion felt. 

Towards the end of last week, I really began questioning myself and how much more fight I had in me. What will I do? How will I possibly endure any more? And why does my Savior have so much trust in me? I really doubted myself. 

Luckily, I'm surrounded with love. I'm surrounded by help. I'm surrounded by those that love me. And my Savior and Father in Heaven are kind and gentle. They are patient with me and love me. 

I felt the strength of those around me. Their faith. Their love. Their strength. And their testimonies helped to strengthen mine. Once again, the Savior, carried me. Until I wa comforted. Until I was again ok to walk with him. 

I may have days where I feel lie "stick a fork in me, I am done."  But my Savior and Father in Heaven love me, even in my darkest and most terrifying hours.  

I love my Savior. I love my Father In Heaven. I love my sweet husband. I love my precious son. I love all those amazing friends and family that wrap me in their arms of love and words of prayer. It makes all the difference. 

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