Thursday, March 31, 2016

Cozumel Part 2

Cozumel, Mexico: stop 3 on our cruise. My Dad, Jake and Josh rented a catamaran for the family to relax on, go snorkeling, lay out, go on a boat ride and eat a picnic on a beautiful Mexican beach. The thought of going absolutely terrified me. The entire time that everyone talked of this excursion, I thought it best if I stayed on the boat, safe and sound, out of the sun and heat. Jake booked a two story catamaran so I would be safe and have some place to nap. He even ordered diet coke's for the boat, in honor of me. Fear still swept over me. How could I do it? What if something happened? The every present worry, encircled my heart and mind. "What ifs" abounded all around.

I was encouraged to go, by everyone. I am glad I went and was relatively problem free until the boat began to stop.  I started getting a little off when we took the family picture and I faced against opposite of the direction the boat was moving. I immediately sat trying to regain my balance and bearings.

As we moved from open waters and cool breezes to the dock, the wind quit blowing and the sun seemed to penetrate extra hot. I needed to get the cool rag out of my bag and find shade quickly. The boat came to a stop and everyone started getting off. The ramp from the boat to dock was too narrow to fit my wheelchair, so I needed to walk across. As i got up, the world felt hot and then burning smell. I was trying to balance across the wood and one of the guys grabbed me and steadied me. I continued to move forward desperately searching for Thomas, Hayden or Jodi...someone that might see or recognize my distress look. My vision started to go like my voice already had. I could see myself falling on the dock and falling between the boat and dock into the ocean. I prayed for vision, for the seizure to dissipate, for help, anything.

The symptoms grew worse and the pain intensified. That is the last thing I remember.The next I remember is talking to Josh, as I was sitting in a taxi with Thomas and Hayden.

Jodi said that Josh tried talking to me during the seizure. i didn't respond. I didn't even hear him or realize it. I guess Jake quickly got us a taxi to head straight back to the cruise ship. Everyone else that saw was concerned. First time most had seen me go into a seizure.

I felt awful. I cried on the way back to the cruise ship. I sobbed. I hated that everyone saw that. It is so embarrassing. Plus, not sure if they thought it was a show. It wasn't. I try so hard to hide my world from everyone. There are so few that see me and my life. I conceal so much.

I was too sick to leave my room that evening. The scorching hot sun, which in reality was only in the 80's, just took me out.

Room service and a nice long sleep was exactly what I needed to put the days events behind me.

I was grateful it was over. I was grateful for the protection. I was grateful for those that tried to protect me from my body. I am grateful I wasn't alone. I know my Savior protected me because when that seizure started, it was as if, I could see what would have happened without divine intervention. Long prayers of gratitude were given because things could have turned out much worse. I saw what would have happened without my Savior's help.

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