Our Family Moments

I love my entire extended family so much and enjoy getting together and sharing our lives. But my true joy and world revolves around my guys. They make my world go around. They are my reason to smile, reason to fight this awful disease, my reason for enduring and pushing through unbelievable pain, the reason my heart swells with pride and joy and the place I go when can no longer do it on my own. 

So the moments I cherish the most are with them. This boy of mine... There are truly no words magnificent enough to describe him. He is honest, kind, hard-working, caring, considerate, self-sacrificing, empathetic, giving, a philanthropist, a disciple of Christ, humble, fun, funny, crazy, loud, loving, full of life, content in all places, optimistic, helpful, a tease, and filled with joy.

My husband is my rock, my world, my joy and my safe place. He holds my heart so gently and protects me and it fiercely. He is my most cherished gift and blessing in life. He is my reason to hold on and my strength when I can no longer go on. He is my provider and my strength. He is my biggest fan, greatest cheerleader, strongest support and gentlest with my heart. He loves me with a perfect love. One that only is topped by my Savior. He protects me and guides me and helps me when I can no longer walk another step. He knows my medications and my health ever bit as well as I do and is my biggest advocate.

What girl gets breakfast in bed every morning of her life, like I do? What husband has watched YouTube videos so he can help blow dry, straighten and put my hair in a pony tail? What guy coordinates all my medication refills with doctors and insurance and Walgreen's and fills my daily pill bottles and then sets reminders on my phone so I will take them. He is at every neurologist and dental appointment with me as he knows my unreasonable fear of dental work and that there is no way for me to take in all the neurologist says without him. He goes to every new doctor with me and is at every results appointment. He works all day, grocery shops, runs errands, makes dinner, is Hayden's best friend, he deals with my medical, does everything I need, cleans the house, does the dishes and the laundry, works in the yard, pays bills, organizes the chaos, and will do anything in the world for me or Hayden. He still does his church callings and takes all the overtime he can get at work. He works with so many that are struggling in areas whether it be personal issues or help finding comfort or solace. He is the most humble man I know and is always talking of the good others do. He finds joy in the simplest of things and always finds the glass full.

 He is positive and tells me "we will figure it out. The Lord has always been there for us. He isn't going to abandon us now." When I come back with tears or fear or uncertainty, his response is always he same. He walks over, wraps his arms around me and gently puts his hand under my chin, looks in my eyes and says, "I love you. Don't worry. I will figure it out. It will be okay." Then his hand moves from under my chin and he puts my hand in his as he helps me to my knees. Then and there, kneeling humbly before our loving Father in Heaven, he pours his heart out in pray. Each prayer acknowledges our dependency on him, our willingness to walk whatever path he sees fit, our desire to draw closer to him, seeks comfort and peace to come over me, and to help guide us to answers that we need. He then gently takes me into a hug and tells me, "it's in the Lord's hands now. He will figure out a way."

The love he leads our home with, the millions of sacrifices he makes, the joy he brings to my life and the way he knows how to love me how I need to be loved is simply amazing. He is everything I dreamed of and more. I am so grateful for him. 

I am often asked how I continue to keep going and fighting this illness when the prognosis is terminal and the daily fight is so difficult. The answer is simple. I do not walk alone. My Savior, my husband and my son help to carry me every single day. There has not been one day that I have walked alone. My Savior knew the path I walk would require more effort, more strength and more determination than I could ever possess. So he found the most loyal and loving man in heaven and allowed me to be his wife. Then he looked at all the boys there. He knew that I needed a son that was obedient, quick to help, eager to please and willing to do whatever needed for his mom.  He allowed me to be this tender souls' mom. He knew that what I could not accomplish alone that the four of us could, together. 

My love for my husband and son grows deeper each day. As I watch these two sacrifice for me, my heart swells with gratitude. I am seriously the most blessed mom and wife that has ever lived. I am so grateful for my sweet family. I cherish every single moment with them. I love you, my boys. Always have. Always will. Forever and beyond.