Remembering....

Hayden was 5 years old. He loved all things super heroes and couldn't get enough of Spider-Man and captain America and batman. He still found Buzz Lightyear and Woody as heroes and loved all things Disney.

I remember sitting with him at the Disneyland parade. He waved with all his might. Huge smiles stretched across his face as he received waves or high fives back from his heroes. He got tired. He was bobbing his head while trying to stay awake. I took Hayden in my arms. I wrapped him up. He yawned and stretched and was trying to force himself to stay awake. But his exhaustion took over and he laid his head on my head and the. Wrapped his small boy arms around my neck. Before he drifted off to sleep he smiled and whispered with glee, "today was the best day of my life, Mommy!" 

That little boy. I would have given him the world. Done anything for him. So much so that I couldn't lay him in his stroller. Instead, I held him as close as I could and carried him from Fantasmic by Pirates of Caribbean all the way out of the park and out to the shuttle. My arms ached but my heart was full. 

I look back now to those treasured moments. How did time March by so quickly? How did my little boy grow up and become a teenager? I wonder...did I do enough, treasure him enough, cherish the moments, and soak up every minute? Did I appreciate what I had? What I could do? How strong I was? How well my body worked? 

I guess in life, as I walk it, sometimes it takes all I have just to endure and get through. I remember that little boy. I remember those chubby little fingers and sweet voice. Even with my limitations, I try to soak it all in, and cherish each day. I cling tightly to the good moments and make sure to mentally store them into my memories. 

I wish I would have cherished all I could do more. Soaked in the ability to carry my son for miles and hold him so tight that I could hear his breath and feel his little heartbeat. I'm so grateful for the memories. For the cherished moments. For all the incredible experiences I hold tight to now. 

As much as I struggle today, I have learned to hold tight to the precious moments. To cling to the good times. And I pray that someday I will look back and realize how much these moments we are making right now are also so incredibly important and will become treasures.