Monday, March 28, 2016

Perfect Morning

Some days are simply delightful. They are days that take hold of your long term memory and you permanently etch them there, wanting to take it all in and make sure that each moment is remembered exactly. Moment for moment. Word for word.

Lucky for us, we had one of those perfect days on the cruise. Everyone else had stayed out late. After my seizure, we were in the room early, and Hayden had been sea sick. So while everyone else slept in, we were up before the majority of the boat.

We made our way down to the little Cafe in Central Park. We found a great spot and Thomas and Hayden went in to get us food. We sat and slowly ate, talking about life, asking Hayden about his dreams, and just having a delightful conversation.

It was slow and casual morning. No hustling to get anywhere. No trying to force my body to get up and move. I cuddled into the chair and just relaxed.

I remember looking over at Hayden and vocalizing how incredibly amazing he had become. Thomas joined in and we talked of the reasons that made us proud of him. We talked of his accomplishments. We discussed his achievements and the challenges he has overcome. We were the most proud of who he has become. He is kind. He never is mean or does mean things to others. He is accepting. He sees the good in others and in situations. He is happy. He is appreciative and grateful for all we do, even the smallest act, he notices. We talked of how he treats others and how he makes others feel. We talked of his love of our Savior and desire to serve him and become like him. Of how the Savior values two gifts above all others, so much so that they were given as the first two commandments. First, to love God with all your heart, might, mind and strength and the second commandment is like unto it, to love one another. Hayden excels at both of those qualities. We told him how truly proud of him that we are.
Next, I looked over at my husband. The man that chose me to be his wife. The one his promised to love no matter what, and in sickness and in health. I looked at him and saw a spiritual giant and a faithful follower of Christ. I saw the man that my Savior showed me so many years ago when I knew he was my eternal companion. He has become the spiritual giant and amazing man that stands firm in his faith. He is perfectly loyal and faithful to me. He is a rock of a husband and father. And the perfect example of Christlike love for his son.

I then began to voice my love for him. My appreciation for his sacrifices for me and Hayden. How he tries in all he does to please and honor our Savior. How he is good and kind and honest and filled with integrity. How he speaks highly of and sees the good in others. How he treats me like his queen. How he is an incredibly hard worker and gives his all each and every day.

Without saying anything, Hayden joined in telling his dad how much he loved and appreciated him. He hugged his dad and told him he was his best friend.
Without skipping a beat, each of them began listing all the reasons they loved me. Hayden said, "Mom, I am grateful that you do all you can to fight pain and your illness so that I can still have a mom to be with me every day." oh how my heart melted. Thomas thanked me for the sacrifices I make to stay with him and Hayden. He thanked me for learning to love him deeper during this and that we together have grown closer and closer to our Savior.
Those sweet and tender moments were sacred to me. They were uplifting and filled with deep love and heartfelt appreciation. I love that each of us sees each other as individuals here trying to do the things that we promised our Savior in the pre-existence and helping one another to achieve those goals. We see how the Lord's plan is helping us with those goals, even when the path seems unclear. We trust and know we have one another to lean on in hard times. We are a unit of love and pure acceptance and understanding. We cheer one another on and have each others backs, always.
As I later found a place to sit and look at the ocean, while Thomas and Hayden went exploring, I tried to etch every single moment of that morning into my heart and mind. As I struggle in the future, I know that these tender moments will be some of the ones I cherish and cling to always. Those moments when the veil was so thin, that angels administered to us and heaven reminded us of who we really are.... not just Thomas and Jerlyn and Hayden or even the Murphy's.... but beloved and cherished sons and daughter of God. Ones that covenanted with God and our Savior to dedicate our very lives to him.

Together, we are stronger than as individuals. Together, we hold tightly onto one another and don't let one another fall. I thought my job as a parent was to be the strength, the example, the warrior and the fighter. I now realize that we take turns being the strength. It is okay to allow my son to be the strong one. As he shows strength to me and steps up and finds his role as the leader and example, I am teaching him and allowing him to practice for the days when he will lead his future family in wisdom, guidance, humility and love. I am teaching him to be a missionary in word and deed and action. It is okay to let Thomas be the strength and me just do all I can to endure.

So often I wonder how I can do all that is required of me. Then I am gently reminded that our Savior never expected me to do it alone. Not only does my Savior walk this hard, windy and steep climb with me, but he sent two of his strongest sons to assist me on my journey. I think he took two incredibly strong warriors and allowed one to come as my husband and the other as my son. He knew with them at my side, one on each, gently putting arms around me, lifting me, carrying me and supporting me that I could be strong. For this priceless gift my Savior gave, I am forever and eternally grateful. And those moments, when the line between heaven and earth is almost non-existent, and angels and heaven seem to sweep us into their midst, I am in awe of who my son and husband truly are and how incredibly valiant and righteous they are. They are truly some of our Savior's finest priesthood holders and disciples of Christ. There truly is no greater gift than the treasured gifts my Savior constantly provides. I will add this day to my list of perfect blessings and cherish it always.

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