Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Darce and funerals

Renee Jones passed away from cancer at 70. I'm still in awe that for 29 years she was such a fabulous friend to my mother. After she died she continued to watch afte the five of us and care and attend our children's and our events. I'm sure th reunion in heaven was glorious. 

Darce has been such a dear friend all my life. Friends since we were babies. We go long stretches without talking but always pick right up. Talking. Laughing. Trusting one another. She is a true gift and blessing in my life. 

Renee's funeral was hard as I had just been told I didn't have much longer to walk here. As I listened, I thought of Thomas and Hayden and jodi and others and how hard my funeral would be on them. I cried. 

As I sang the song I know that my Redeemer lives, it was on a different level. It was as if he stood at my feet and I sang to him. My heart swelled with all I knew  all the joy I felt. My heartache. My fear. My peace. It all testified of our Redeemer and Savior.  My heart broke. Yet I knew my Savior loved me. 

I love each of renee's children. They all hold. Special place in my heart. They are more than friends. But family. Loved ones. Cherished. 

The pain each child felt was excruciating yet they were calmed. I grateful for peace that filled the room. I'm grateful for the calm. The reassurance of life after death. The reassurance of the love our Savior has for each of us. 

I'm grateful I sat between my dear husband that I love and adore and my sister that comforts me and loves me. These two have walked me through this journey with Hayden. They have been rocks. I'm grateful for all those that have loved me and help walk me home. 

I was grateful for her life. For Renee's love. For her meekness. For her willingness to serve God. She has been a strength to me. And I am grateful. 

When life is over we remember important truths. What is I,portent. And what is not. People matter. Memories matter. Life is about learning who we are, remembering who we were in the pre-existence, trusting and following the Savior and loving. Loving and serving and growing a greater testimony of God and our Savior. Little else matters. 

I felt my own life and mortality that day. My own walk with God. My goodbyes. My lingering adventures. My life. Those I love. My joys. My overcoming trials. My turning to Christ and God. My walks with them. My walks with my family.  My friends. Those I loved and served. Those that matter to me. 

My Savior whispered "well done, Jerlyn. Well done." 

Those words were ones I longed to hear my entire life. I would have done anything to hear those words. I desire to follow ,y Savior every day. To do his will. To trust him. To,love him. To be faithful always. 

There were rocky roads and times I fell down. Hard climbs that caused me to lose my footings and. I fell. But always, I tried. I desired to do good even when life didn't go as planned. I wanted to Serve and love and reflect my Savior's love. I tried to be like him. I tried my best. I'm grateful for the hard climbs because they brought me to my Savior. I had to use his strength to climb. Trust him in the journey. 

My joy is to see those I love walk in truth and righteousness. Thomas and Hayden are so good. They are men of God. They uphold and honor and cherish their priesthood power ordained from God. They love with their whole hearts. They serve. They bring joy. They love complete,y. 

My sister is my joy for so long. From the moment she was born a dream come true. My hopes and dreams come true. My dear friend. My sister. My heart. My connection. My family. My best friend. My joy. 

My husband my all. My everything. My happy. My joy. My peace. My strength. My rock. My way. My eternity. My forever. My connection from here to the end of eternal time. My all. My love. My love in life and death. My eternity. My husband. My all. 

My son is my,joy. My peace. My hope. My happy. My sweet. My Dream of being a mom come true. He is my,happy. My joy.  My smile. My soft spot when life is upside down.  Me.  My mom me. My heart on the outside of my body. My all. 

Them with me describes my life. My little baby grown up. My smile. My dreams come true. My husband is my example of my Savior. He walks with me and never puts me down. He loves me. My son loves me. My sister. My brothers. My parents. My friends. My loves. My life. 

I wondered as I sat at renews funeral who would come say goodbye to me. Who cares. Who loves me. I thought of countless people. Saw countless faces on the crowd. My heart. Who will remember me? Who loves me? Who did I help make a difference in their lives? Who did I lift? Who did I help? Who did I show example of my Savior? Who did I ease their suffering? Make smile? Bring joy? Ease heartache? Was I a good friend? Did I love my family enough ? Did those I love know how deeply and completely I loved them? 

I did love them all. My husband.  My son. ,y sister. My brothers. My dad. My mom. My Savior. My,loved ones. My friends. All those I loved. 

I hope each one knows of my love and care for them. How much I love them. How grateful I am that they loved me. That they chose to share their life with me. Their glorious moments and their Low moments. That they chose me to walk beside them. I pray I eased burdens. That I was enough. That I gave enough. That I loved deeply enough. 

I love those I walked with. I love my Savior mi tried in all ways and every day to portray his love. Because his love matters so much more than me. His life. His all. I'm grateful I know my,Savior. I grateful for his tutoring and guid ace. He is my everything. I hope my,life showed that. 

To all reading This. Thank you for blessing my,life. For loving me. For believing in me And trusting me to be your friend and walk the path with you. It means more to me than words can say. 

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