Thursday, June 23, 2016


I've been thinking a lot about "Home" lately. 

Where is home? 

Is home the address where we reside? Is home where our family is? Is home the place that makes us feel warm and comfortable after a long time away? Is home the place we lay our heads or is it the place that when we go to after a long time away that we feel most comfortable? Is home more a person than a place? What truly is home? 

As I have contemplated, I think home is many things. 

Home is the place our hearts rest. Home is the place where we feel safe and secure. Home is the place we journey to when things get confusing and rough. Home is the place your heart feels at peace. Home is people. It is your dearest loved ones. Home is comfort. Most of all, home is love. 

I always associated home as one physical place. No longer. Home is the place where your heart is safe and at rest. 

Many of us talk of going home when in reference to our childhood home or parents home. 

To me, one of the places I feel most at home is in Oceanside California. As I drive up each year, my heart feels complete and whole. It feel complete. I feel relaxed. My heart smiles and is happy. 

I love coming to my own on "home" disguised as our house. There is so much love. There is safety. There is peace. There is comfort. 

I thought deeper. To me. Hayden is home. He is comfort. He is mine. He is comfort and love. He is smiles and laughter. He is hope. He is joy. 

Thomas is my truest home. I don't care where in the world we are. When Thomas walks in the door, my,heart relaxes, it leaps with joy, I Experience so much love, I'm relaxed, I'm hopeful, I'm at peace and I'm comforted. I feel surrounded in love. 

But what if all these places are "home" because we are searching for our true home. The place our heart and spirit and entire being recognize as home. Where is this? Is there a place we long to be greater than our desire to be home here with those we love? 

Earth is not home to any of us. It is our temporary residence. Our college apartment. Our vacation home. So yes, our hearts feel peace. But that is why we struggle and want more and are not content here. We desire more. 

Where is this place that is our true home? 

Our spirits yearn to still be with our Heavenly Father and our beloved Savior. They long for the companionship of those that have passed on before us. 

At 3am, I stood outside looking at the heavens. I looked up and asked my loving Father in Heaven where is home? 

Am I here? Is it with those I love? Does my heart really belong at the beach? Is it my loved ones? Is it my son? My beloved husband!

A feeling so sweet came over me. They are all temporary Homes. I long for you to come home for good. 

Home is all these things because when you come home for good, to your eternal home, it is to remind us that home, our true home, is compromised of all those things we love. 

I long to go home. 

Where? I'm not sure! I am struggling with that. My heart is being pulled home. Yet, where is it?amd most of all, I don't want to go anywhere without Thomas and Hayden. I long to be with them. I love them so much.

Yet, I believe the feeling is a, having long for a relationship even deeper. More loving. Mor permanent. More eternal. 

Am I feeling discontent of earth life and longing for degree of peace not avail ale here on earth. My Savior is ,y home. My loving Heavenly Father is my home. Yet so are my loved ones. 

My heart wants to go home. 

But my heart wants Thomas at my side where I go. 

Hence my dilemma. Where is home? And why am I longing to go there?  

Yet, I don't want to be anywhere without my beloved husband. My all my everything. My heart. My soul. My,happy. My peace. May Alll. 

Yet, I will find home and prepare a place for me and Thomas. A place that when he sees it will know his heart is home for good. 

Yet again, I looked up and asked where so home? Amd why is my heart longing to be there?

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