My heart cannot begin to express the gratitude and love that I feel at this very moment. There has never been a Christmas or special time of year that I have felt more loved, more grateful or more truly cared for.
Twelve beautiful days ago, something miraculous happened for our family. We received a gift at the door, filled with all kinds of treats stating that the Christmas Angel had come bearing gifts to our family. And, with each passing day, a new gift or treat arrived on the doorstep. No door bell ringing, just a quiet family sneaking up to the doorstep to anonymously surprise us with another gift of love. Each day we waited in anticipation for when and what new goodie would show up at the door. I caught Hayden checking the front door many times each day.
It didn't matter what the gifts were, although the sayings were adorable and made us laugh and smile. No matter what was left, as we read the note, our hearts were filled with love. I think mine was filled with so much gratitude, as well.
You see, this Christmas came with limitations on my part. Other people wrapped my gifts, delivered our goodies, shopped for me and even carried out most of our traditions without me. So many traditions were skipped this year or done with me missing. I tried to just be grateful I was still on earth to do any of the traditions and be here to hear Hayden's excitement and joy as he experienced this beautiful season. But there were still moments of disappointment and sadness.
But, this gift, it was new and exciting and offered us a new tradition, a new gift to look forward to and something we could relish in together. It allowed me to see the excitement and joy in Hayden's eyes and the awe in Thomas' as we received such thoughtful gifts from our Christmas Angel. How grateful is my heart? There are no words to express the joy and love and excitement that these kind acts brought into our hearts and home.
As I woke up in pain from completely overdoing it on Christmas Eve, I myself went to check the front porch, I am sure with ever bit as anticipation and excitement as a child waking up for presents on Christmas morning. I smiled as I saw the gift all wrapped in a red bag and bow. I debated waiting for Hayden but decided to just take a peak. As I opened the contents, tears swelled up in my eyes and then flooded down my checks. I sobbed. Not out of sadness but out of love and hope and joy and thanksgiving and thoughtfulness and I guess most of all at the outpouring of love. Our angel did not identify themselves. But, as I opened this gift, I felt my Savior wrap His arms around me and I KNEW that I was not forgotten. Not only was I showered with love and generosity from this dear family, in that moment, my Savior let me know that He was aware of me, my limitations, my struggles, my heartache, my fears, and replaced all those feelings with hope and joy and peace and gratefulness and an overwhelming love. Love for these sweet Angels, love for my family, love for my husband that now had his arms wrapped around me, love for this beautiful time of year and love for the one that all this is about, my precious Savior.