Dislocated shoulder /wrist

Life keeps throwing twists. Four weeks ago, this was me in the hospital. Unable to use or ,I've my right arm and a dislocated shoulder. After much research they learned I had dislocated my right shoulder Ina seizure and the dislocated arm was replaced incorrectly. I have four pulled /destroyed nerves, an entrapped nerve, a pulled ligament and more. 

So away I went to orthopedic surgeon. I learned that a double seizure pulled it out the back. The pain simply unbelievable and abov my tolerance level. 

However. They cannot do surgery due to me being on chemo and my complicated health history. So while in the orthopedic surgeons office, he enlightens me that I am in full blown cancer. Lymphoma. This complicates things more as now there is nothing they can do. The emergency surgery is cancelled. Pain meds cannot be given as it will interact with paralysis. 

After a 9 am appointment that lasted almost 3 hours, I ran out sobbing. 

The reality of no relief for excrutiating pain hit. The reality I had cancer hit. The reality of my situation slammed into my heart. I felt so alone. 

The complications continue. I am stretched past any point of understanding and help. I walk a long and painful and lonely road. But this is my life. Someday it will all make sense and all be ok. 

But for now. I am hurting more than I could imagine. I am scared. I am  alone. 

The. I remember I have my husband, my son, my Savior and a handful of friends that still care. I am grateful for  all those that walk with me. It makes an unbearable road more tolerable. And right now, that is what I need. And prayers for a miracle.