Hayden and treatments

 This news of lymphoma and immune system war we are beginning, brought me immediately to thoughts of my dear son.

What decisions do we make? How do I decide what to do? Where to get treatment? Do I take the harder medication that is available in pill form but be able to stay at home during treatment? Or do I take infusions where I can get help with other medicines are given to counteract the side effects, yet it requires Hayden to sit with me at an infusion center a couple of times a week?

The answer came quickly. I will opt for at home treatments. Even though it requires my son to be my caregiver, that we can do it within the confines of our home. No going to a hospital or treatment center and Hayden seeing all the other really sick people there. I don't want him to think this is where I am headed.

Hayden is simply amazing. He fixes me lunch on chemo days (and any time I am sick). He helps me to the bathroom. He lays in my bed next to me and reads and watches over me. He does his school work on the bed right by my side. He is my protector, supporter and my chemo buddy. His strength keeps me going on even the hardest days.

No one should have to face this, but especially not a fourteen year old boy. He is young. He is in his youth. He shouldn't have to deal with chemo, cancer, immune system failure, autonomic disorders, seizures, and so much more.

As that thought crossed my mind, another quickly came to my mind. My Savior was showing me what power has come from other fourteen year old boys and the weight and responsibility.  I was reminded that fourteen year old boys are strong, if they have a knowledge and faith in their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The beloved prophet Joseph Smith, seeking for truth, went into the woods to pray. After fighting the adversary himself, he saw God our Father and, his son, Jesus Christ.  He was instructed by them. He was trusted to do their work, at a mere boy of 14 years old. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, at a tender young age, chased the money changers out of the temple. He reminded his earthly parents that he was to be about his father's business. The list of amazing prophets and good men came to mind. Each took on huge responsibilities by the age of 14.

 Hayden was no exception. He is strong. He is rooted in the foundation of our beloved Savior. He knows right from wrong. Is it an ideal situation? No. But I am promised Hayden will be okay. He is willing to help me. He wants to be my strength with his dad. He repeatedly says how he wishes the priesthood power was given based on worthiness and readiness only, without an age requirement. He says he would do whatever was required to be able to hold the Melchizedek Priesthood. He wants so badly to bless me with the power of the higher priesthood. I reassure him that his prayers are heard. They are just as strong as blessings when he offers them in faith.  I am beginning to see him as my own little warrior. My own protector. My strength.

And if he wasn't up to the task, our loving Savior, would have provided other help for me. Instead, he knew that Hayden and I are a great team. He knew that we had Thomas' full support and love. With that, we move forward. Hayden at my side.

And although I hate seeing the responsibility placed squarely on Hayden's shoulders, he will rise to the task. I am one proud mom.

So, with Thomas and Hayden by my side, holding me up, we begin this next journey of fighting the lymphoma. I will trust my Savior that this journey will bless Hayden's life, not hurt it.